Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 965: Sunday 19th May 2019

Entry 965
Sunday 19th May 2019

I've just got back from my day out with Nikki. It was amazing!

Nikki and I spent the day walking along the beach and looking in some of the shops and boutiques in Cowes. We had a nice little lunch in Sails, and then later we went back to Tonino's and had a lovely meal. It's been a great day.

As we were walking along the beach, we ended up holding hands. It was nice. "Look at me and you," I said, with a smile on my face, "Walking along the beach, holding hands." "I know," said Nikki, "It's like something out of a film." "I know," I said, "A few weeks ago we couldn't stand each other, and now look at us." Nikki let go of my hand and frowned. "What's up?" I asked. "God, why do you have to say stuff like that?" she angrily said, "We were having a nice day and you've just gone and spoiled it." "Sorry," I said, "You're right. I was just pointing out how things have changed." "Yeah, well, just think before you open your mouth," said Nikki.

As we continued walking along the beach holding hands, smiling and chatting to each other, we bumped into TJ. "Oi, oi, oi," he said, "Look at this. Elizabeth and Picky Nikki." "I beg your pardon?" said an unimpressed Nikki. "Picky Nikki," said TJ, "It's my nickname for you." "Well, I have a few nicknames for you," said Nikki. "I call you picky Nikki because you must be picky if you can't enjoy a night out with me." "Hmmm," said an assertive Nikki, "A woman who doesn't enjoy a date with a misogynistic, arrogant man who lies to her. I wonder why she could be picky." "I love it when a bird gets all dominant," said TJ. "Well, you're going to be ecstatic soon," said a firm Nikki, "Because I am on the edge of getting very dominant and drowning you in the sea." "Look at this!" TJ, loudly said, pointing at mine and Nikki's interlinked hands, "You two shagging each other now?" "TJ!" I exclaimed. "God, you're a disgusting, vile man, aren't you?" said Nikki. "That means he's shagged you and it was cr*p," said TJ with a big grin on his face. "It means it's none of your f*cking business," I snapped. "Listen Nikki, love," said TJ, "Don't have high expectations for Elizabeth here. His c*ck's smaller than the size of a kidney bean. Now if you want to have a good time with a real man, try bouncing up and down on TJ's pole of pleasure." "I think I'll pass," said a blunt Nikki, "Luke may not be that handsome or attractive, but he has manners." "He lied to you and pretended to be me," said TJ. "Only because you talked him into it, you complete loser," said a firm Nikki, "I know all about people like you. Arrogant little men that need taking in hand." "Are you wet?" asked TJ with a big smile on his face, "Because I've got a right semi on here." "TJ, just shut up," I said. "Don't just tell him to shut up," said Nikki said to me, "Be a man. Tell him properly." "Yeah, tell me properly Nanna," TJ said with a smirk on his face. "His name is Luke, not Nanna, you idiot," said Nikki, "And he is more of a man than you'll ever be. Look at you. A middle-aged loser, still single and trying to act like he's still in his youth. It's embarrassing really." TJ's expression changed, He looked p*ssed off. You don't often see TJ like that. "You feel so sh*t about yourself," said Nikki, "And it's so painful to try and look in the mirror and face up to your own f*cked up failures and serious inadequacies, so you avoid taking responsibility and project all of those failures and serious inadequacies on to other people. My God, you're a joke." "Alright," said TJ, sounding p*ssed off, "Chill out, I'm only joking. So, what's the deal with you two anyway?"  I was about to say something, but Nikki interrupted me. "I'm his girlfriend," she assertively said. I wasn't expecting her to say this, and Nikki could see the look of surprise on my face. "What?" she confrontationally asked, "What's that look for? Don't you want me to be your girlfriend?" "No, it's..." I started to say until Nikki interrupted me. "No!?" she exclaimed, taking a step back and raising her eyebrows, "You don't want me to be your girlfriend?" "No," I said, "That's not what I meant." "So, what did you mean?" asked Nikki. "I just didn't expect you to say the G word," I said, "It's just a bit of surprise." "Well do you want me to be your girlfriend or not?" snapped Nikki. "I sense a domestic," giggled TJ. I grabbed hold of Nikki's hand, smiled at her and then gave TJ a smug grin. "TJ," I said, "Nikki is my girlfriend. That's right. I've got a girlfriend." Nikki smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Won't last," said TJ, as he started to walked away, "She's a f*cking psycho." "I beg your pardon?" snapped Nikki. "You heard," said TJ, as he walked off, "Good luck Elizabeth. You're going to need it with that mad b*tch." TJ walked off. "Ignore him," I said, "He..." "Do NOT embarrass me like that again," said a firm Nikki. "You what?" I said, sounding surprised. "Acting all surprised as if I'd done something wrong when I said I was your girlfriend," snapped Nikki, "That was very embarrassing for me, Luke. Please don't be that selfish again." "No, it wasn't like that," I said, "I..." "Oh, so you're saying I'm wrong to feel the way I feel, are you?" snapped Nikki. "God, no," I said, "No. I was just surprised, that's all. So, I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend?" "Yep," said Nikki, with a big smile on her face. "Don't let TJ get to you," I said. "I won't," said Nikki. "Who cares what he thinks?" I said. "Well, I certainly don't," said Nikki, "What a vile creature. You don't class him as a friend, do you?" "He's not all bad," I said. "Really?" said Nikki, "I find that hard to believe. If you class someone like him as a friend, you should seriously have a re-think about you friends."

Nikki and I walked right to the edge of Cowes and saw all of the GRID construction workers building the walls around the Cowes. "They're quite big, aren't they?" said Nikki. "Yeah," I said, looking up at the big, thick, tall walls that were close to completion, "In a few days they'll be finished." "Well, I suppose we'll all be a lot safer then," said Nikki. "I don't think so," I said, "If there's an outbreak we're all trapped within the walls." "Oh?" said Nikki, "So I'm wrong, am I?" "What do you mean?" I asked. "I'm telling you that I feel safer knowing we have walls around us," said Nikki, "And you're telling me I'm wrong to feel like that." "No, it's not like that," I said, "I just don't think that being walled in makes us safer. I think it puts us in more danger." "Don't be stupid," said Nikki, "Of course it doesn't." "Let's get away from these walls," I said, "I'm in the mood to have a nice lunch at Tonino's." "No," said Nikki, "Lunch at Sails, dinner at Toninon's. Come on let's go."

There were a few little ups and downs, but it really was a nice day. Over lunch we ended up talking about when we were kids in school. She got bullied just like I did. We ended up exchanging silly childish jokes and laughing our heads off. We were laughing so hard we ended up crying. Nikki even suggested that one night she could stay over at mine, and that perhaps I could stay over her place. A big step, but it feels right, but we both decided not to rush and consider her staying at mine or me staying at her place at some point over the next couple of weeks.

However, when I got home Mum and Auntie Meryl were bickering AGAIN. "You thieving, twisted, old bat," Mum snapped at Auntie Meryl, standing over her as she sat there ignoring Mum and looking at her crossword book. "I have stolen nothing," said Auntie Meryl, raising her head in the air, ignoring Mum and adopting a self-righteous look. "Yes, you have," snapped Mum, "This is you getting your own back because of your false teeth" "Ah, so you did steal my false teeth," said Auntie Meryl. "I didn't say that, you stupid fat cow," snapped Mum, "God, you're so petty. Isn't it about time you acted your age?" "That's rich coming from a trollop like you," snapped Auntie Meryl. "Luke, sausage, will you tell her," pleaded Mum, "She's stolen my knickers; every pair – every single pair." "I've stolen nothing," said Auntie Meryl, ignoring Mum and writing in her crossword book. "Fifteen pairs of knickers don't just go missing," snapped Mum. "I don't know why you're moaning," said Auntie Meryl, "You hardly wear them anyway. They spend more time in your drawers or round your ankles, than they do around your crotch." "Just give me back my f*cking knickers!" Mum loudly snapped. "Don't you swear at me like that you foul-mouthed trollop," said Auntie Meryl, "I'll slap you into the middle of next week." "Luke, please tell her," pleaded Mum, "Fifteen pairs of knickers don't just disappear. Will you tell her to give me them back?" With a big smile on my face, I ignored Mum and Auntie Meryl and started to walk past them. "Hang on," said Mum, "Where are you going?" "I'm going to go upstairs, see my lovely little son and then just lay on my bed and think about what a lovely day I've had," I said. "Well wait a minute," said Mum, pointing to Auntie Meryl, "What about this." "Oi, I'm a person, not a thing," snapped Auntie Meryl. "I'm not sure about that," snapped Mum. "Not my problem, mother dear," I bluntly said with a big grin on my face, "Not my problem at all." I then went upstairs.

Mum and Auntie Meryl looked confused. It was clear they thought my behaviour was out of character. I suppose it was, but I didn't care. I was on cloud nine. I can't wait to see Nikki again.