Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1014: Sunday 7th July 2019

Entry 1014
Sunday 7th July 2019

The sh*t has hit the fan!

Whist Nikki was at home getting our lunch ready I took Leo for a walk along the beach. It was nice to get away from Nikki's evil cat, and it was nice to walk along the beach without bumping into any infected that were placed there in giant plant pots.

When I arrived back home, I walked up the garden path and delved into my pocket for the front door keys and frowned with confusion when I realised, they weren't there. I'd left them on the coffee table. I rolled my eyes and with a frustrating sigh I knocked on the front door. "Babes it's me!" I loudly said, "Let me in. I left my keys in here."

The front door opened to reveal Nikki stood with blunt and slightly emotionless look on her face. "What's wrong?" I asked. "You've got a visitor," Nikki said in a calm yet eerie tone. "A visitor?" I said, wondering who on Earth had to come to see me, "Is it Mum? She was saying she wanted to see more of Leo."

I handed Leo to Nikki, took my coat off, hung it up and then walked down the hall and into the living room. As soon as I walked through the doorway I gasped, froze to the spot, and felt a shiver run down my spine as my eyes widened and my jaw dropped open. It was Mike. He was sat on the sofa stroking Nikki's cat and looking over at me with that naïve, dopy expression on his face. There was no going back now. I had to deal with this and confront the problem. I told myself that I might be able to limit some of the damage, but based on what Mike said following my arrival, any hope of damage limitation was shot! "Hiya babes," said Mike, with a big dopey smile on his face, "God, this cat is adorable. She loves me." Mike started kissing and petting Minnie. "You love me, don't you?" said Mike in a silly voice, "Yes you do, and I love you too. You know me and TJ used to have a cat. Oh, we loved her. Mittens she was called. I used to play with her all the time. That was until the accident. Mum said put mittens in the washing machine on a boil wash and I got a bit confused." "Err... Mike, what are you doing here?" I asked. Nikki walked back into the room without Leo (she'd quickly got him settled upstairs) and stood up against the bookcase with her arms folded and a blunt look on her face. "I thought I'd come and surprise you," said Mike, "I mean, I know you said you didn't want me to come because Nikki's riddled with thrush, but you don't need to worry. I don't mind." The panic on my face was obvious for all to see. Obvious to everyone except Mike perhaps. Nikki remained still in the corner of the room giving me her death stare. "Err... Mike," I said, "I think..." "Luke, babes," said Mike, "It's OK. Me and Nikki have had a chat. I've told her there's nothing to be ashamed of. We all get itchy bits from time to time. We had a really good natter didn't we Nikki? Well, I did most of the talking. She's been pretty quiet. That'll be her shyness you were telling me about. Anyway, when you met with me and Cyn yesterday I was so chuffed hearing you say that Nikki thinks I'm great and that she'd love to spend more time with me, I wasn't going to let something like a yeast infection get in the way of that. So here I am. Surprised eh?" "Something like that," I said. "And the great thing is, that because you still don't have a job since quitting The Hive, the three of us can spend loads of time together," said Mike with a big cheesy grin on his face, oblivious to the huge heap of sh*t he was landing me in. Nikki did not look happy. "Mike, won't TJ and Trudy be wondering where you are?" I nervously asked, catching the furious expression plastered all over Nikki's face. "No, they know I'm here," said Mike. "What about that nephew of yours" I asked, "Primark will be missing his Uncle Mike." "He'll be OK without me for one night," said Mike. "What, do you mean 'one night'?" I asked. Mike reached down the side of the sofa and produced a backpack. "I'm staying over," he excitedly said, "I thought we could have like a sleepover." The blunt anger on Nikki's face intensified as did my anxiety. My arsehole was twitching like a rabbit's nose. "Mike, what about your job?" I asked, "Don't you need to get up early to get to Sainsbury's??" "I've got a few days off," said Mike, "I'm so excited." "I'm going to leave you two alone for a bit," said a blunt Nikki, "I'll be back later."