Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1103: Friday 4th October 2019

Entry 1103
Friday 4th October 2019

I still haven't made things up with Naomi, and to make matters worse I'm starting to feel ill.

The day started when I woke up at Mum and Auntie Meryl's, saw to Leo and then took him downstairs. Mum was in the kitchen and Auntie Meryl was sat in the living room, filling in some sort of crossword book. I walked into the kitchen, Mum gave Leo a kiss and she then handed me a cup of tea. "So, what are you going to do today?" she asked. "I suppose I need to go and see Naomi," I said. "Say sorry?" asked Mum, "Well it's the only way someone like you will have a cat in Hell's chance of keeping hold of a stunner like her." "I will say sorry," I said, "But I can't tell her that I want anything to do with Nikki and that baby. In my head, I've just accepted it's not going to happen." "Well maybe you should think twice," said Mum, "I know Nikki's a bl**dy nutter and I'm not saying you should have anything to do with her, but maybe you should have something to do with your baby, especially if it means you get to stay with Naomi." "Mum," I bluntly said, as I walked into the living room with her following, "I am not going to get involved a child's life just so I can stay in a relationship with Naomi." "Well, you need to go round and see her to say sorry," said Mum. "I've already told you I will," I firmly said, "Just let me finish my tea first." "Six down," said Auntie Meryl. Ignoring us and looking at her crossword book and reading out a clue, "... so small as to only be visible after typically being magnified several hundred times with a scientific, optical instrument ... What's that? It begins with M." "Look," Mum firmly said to me, ignoring Auntie Meryl, "You are never going to get another stunner like Naomi showing an interest in someone like you, so you need to make the most of this. Go round there and apologise like there's no tomorrow. Get down on your knees if you must and beg her to take you back." "We've not split up!" I exclaimed. "Well, if you don't get your act together, she'll dump you like a sack of hot sh*t," said Mum, "I mean no offence sausage but apart from your personality – and even that could do with an improvement – you don't really have much going for you. In your thirties but you look like you're in your forties, a receding a hairline, a bit of a podge and I hate to say it but your willy is..." "Microscopic!" exclaimed Auntie Meryl, "That's it!" "I beg your pardon!?" I said to Auntie Meryl. "Six down," said Auntie Meryl, "Microscopic."

After I'd drank my tea, I went round to see Naomi. Ash answered the door. "Alright," I said, "Is she in?" "Yeah, but I don't think she wants to talk to you," said Ash. "I've come round to say sorry," I said, "I just opened my mouth without thinking." "You do that a lot," said Ash. "Yeah, alright," I said, "Don't rub it in." "Look," said Ash, lowering his voice so Naomi couldn't hear, "I can totally see why you don't want anything to with Nikki and her kid, but Naomi doesn't see it like that. Just give her some time to get her head around it. I'll talk to her." At that moment Naomi appeared and gave Ash and I a disapproving look. "You two talking about me?" she firmly asked. "I've just come round to say sorry," I said. "Sorry for what?" asked a stern Naomi, "Sorry for calling me a bad Mum or sorry for viewing me as a sex object?" "Oh, come on," I said, "That's not fair. I didn't say that. I didn't even mean that." "Well, that's how it came across," said Naomi. "That's why I've come round," I said, "I wanted to say sorry. I know it all came out wrong. Come on Naomi, you know I don't mean any harm. I just sometimes open my mouth without thinking. Did Mike pick up the canvasses?" "He's coming later on this morning," said Ash. "OK," I said, "Naomi can I come so in we can talk." "Luke, I don't want to talk right now," said Naomi, "I can't believe you'd just give up on your unborn baby." "Yeah, but it's a complicated situation, isn't it?" said Ash, "I mean, come on. Be fair. It's not exactly straight forward, is it?" "Ash, mind your own business," Naomi firmly said. Ash shrugged and went back into the house. "Luke, can you just give me a bit of time?" said Naomi. "Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" I asked. "It's not a big deal to me, Luke," said Naomi, "I just never thought you were the sort of person who would just ditch your kid." "I haven't JUST ditched my kid," I exclaimed, "I've gone through Hell with Nikki, putting up with all her sh*t so I can be a dad to that unborn baby. You know that. This hasn't been any easy choice to make." "But it's still a choice you've made," said Naomi. An awkward silence followed. "Just give me some space, Luke," said Naomi, "I'll see you when I see you." Naomi closed the door leaving me feeling rather down and deflated.

I spent the rest of the day feeling rather fed up. I took Leo to Sandown, and I went to see Natasha. It's not like I wanted to see her for a good chat, but I was supposed to be at work today, and I just couldn't face going in. I went round to Natasha's house, doing all I could to avoid the house next door where I used to live and when Natasha answered the door, she had a right go at me. "And where have you been?" she snapped, "You didn't turn up for work today? Gary waited for you, but you didn't show up. He was really worried." "Yeah, sorry," I said, "I've got a lot going on. I need some time off." "MORE time off!?" exclaimed Natasha, "Look Luke, I want to be a good boss, but you're making it hard for me. You can't keep taking time off because you've had a row with Nikki." "There's a bit more to it than that," I said. I quickly brought Natasha up to speed with everything that had gone and why I was now living in Cowes. "So, what are you saying?" asked a firm Natasha, "That you need another job?" "Natasha," I firmly said, "Right now, I don't know what I want long term, but I definitely need some time off." Natasha and I spent some time going back and forth and eventually she agreed to let me have the whole of next week off. That was a lot more time that I thought she'd let me have off, but I wasn't going to complain, but she made sure I realised that I was skating on thin ice and that if I carried on showing a lack of commitment I would be replaced. Tw*t she is! I wanted to tell her to stick her sh*tty job up her ar*e, but I just didn't have the energy. I needed to pick my battles the mood I was in, and I also had Leo with me. The good thing is that I now have about ten days off work. Hopefully that will give me enough time to sort my sh*t out.

When I arrived back at Cowes, I was due to have a catch up with Mike and Sci-Fi Cyn at Sails Café but after my conversation with Naomi and getting a bit of a b*llocking off Natasha I just felt like I didn't want to be around anyone. I saw Sci-Fi Cyn making her way to Sails Café, so I called over to her and said that I just wanted to stay at home on my own with Leo. "Don't you want to catch up with me and Mike?" asked Cyn. "Let's do it the day after tomorrow," I said, "I just want to be on my own." "You seem a bit down," said Sci-Fi Cyn. I told Cyn about my recent interactions with Naomi and Natasha. "Well, then," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "You shouldn't be on your own. Come on. Let's have a chat and a cuppa. You know you always feel better after a good natter." "I just want to be on my own," I said. "No, come on," said Sci-Fi Cyn, taking hold of my hand, "You need your friends' around you." "No," I angrily snapped, yanking my hand out of Cyn's grasp, being careful not to drop Leo who I was holding in my arms, "Why aren't you listening to me? I want to be on my own." "Oh..." said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I'm just trying to be a friend, Luke. We always meet up every other day for a chat and a cuppa." "Yeah, well missing one isn't going to kill me," I bluntly said, "Sorry Cyn. I just really want to be on my own. Tell Mike I'll see him in a bit." Feeling slightly annoyed and rather fed up, I turned around and went back to Mum's and Auntie Meryl's.

When I arrived back at Mum's and Auntie Meryl's after taking Leo for a walk on the beach, I walked straight into the living room. Auntie Meryl was sat on the sofa knitting and Mum was sat on the other sofa giving me a blunt look as I walked into the room. The living room was crammed with all the paintings of me naked. Mike had been round to Naomi's and removed the canvasses from there and plonked them all in Mum and Auntie Meryl's living room. "Oh, for f*cks sake!" I moaned. "I know," Mum bluntly said. "Bl**dy Mike!" I snapped, looking at Mum, "Why did you let him dump all this cr*p in here?" "Oi don't blame me," snapped Mum, "I was in the kitchen. He shouted though and said he had some stuff of yours to leave in the living room. I thought he meant some clothes and stuff, not some weird naked art exhibition." "For crying out loud," I moaned. "Blame her," snapped Mum, pointing at Auntie Meryl, "She was sat right there and never said a word." "I was doing my knitting," said Auntie Meryl, "I can't look up when I've got a rhythm going. Do you want me to drop a stitch?" "I'll drop you," snapped Mum. "Oh, b*gger off you old trollop" snapped Auntie Meryl, "The only thing you can drop is your knickers." "Stop it, both of you!" I snapped, rubbing my head, "Look, I've had a cr*p day and I'm starting to feel ill, so I'm going to lie down, and I'll deal with all this stuff later." "All these paintings," said Auntie Meryl, pointing at them and looking confused, "They all look a bit like you." "They're all of me," I bluntly said. "Well, why's that one got a f*nny?" asked Auntie Meryl pointing at the picture TJ drew of me." "TJ," I said. "That's not TJ," said Auntie Meryl, "It's you... With a f*nny." "Right," I firmly said, "I'm going upstairs. I need to relax." I then stormed off upstairs.

I'm now laid on my bed now and I really don't feel well. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I ache all over and I feel tired and weak. Think I might be coming down with something. Maybe it's all the stress of the last few weeks.