Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1037: Tuesday 30th July 2019

Entry 1037
Tuesday 30th July 2019

I went to see Nikki today. That was a bad idea. We just got into a huge row and I ended up walking out, but not before I laid down the law.

I woke up after not getting much sleep. Partly because I had lots on my mind, partly because my shoulder was hurting, and partly because Mike was sprawled all over the bed and I woke up with his arm across my face and his leg across my torso.

I eventually got up, got dressed and with Leo in my arms I walked downstairs and into TJ, Trudy and Mike's living room. The three of them were already there playing with Primark. "F*ck me," said TJ, looking at the wound on my face, "Another inch up and you'd only have one eye. Well I hope this has knocked some sense into you Elizabeth. You going to kick that f*cking loony b*tch to the curb." "If that's meant to be you showing concern, you've failed miserably," I said. "Look, Nanna," said TJ, "That b*tch has kicked the sh*t out of you once too often. You need to do yourself a favour, tell that mental ex of hers what she's done and sit back as he chucks her in the clink." "TJ, just mind your own business," I said, "I'll deal with this myself." "He thinks she needs help," said Trudy. "She needs help getting pushed off a f*cking cliff," said TJ, "You're not actually thinking of getting back with her, are you?" "Look, just get off my back, will you?" I snapped, "Whatever I decided, it's my decision. I don't need your approval." "Good f*cking job," said TJ, "Cos you haven't got it. You need to kick that c*nt to the curb and be done with her." "I don't like that word," I said. "Curb?" said TJ. "The other word beginning with C," I bluntly said. "Kick?" said Mike. "That begins with K," I said. "Need?" said Mike, "That starts with a K." "No, that's knead as in what you do the bread," I said. "Bake?" said Trudy. "Bake?" I exclaimed, "What are you on about?" "You bake bread," said Trudy, "Is knead another word for bake?" "No," I snapped, losing the will to live, "You KNEAD bread." "I don't need bread," said Trudy, "I've got plenty." "No," I firmly said, "Knead. K-N-E-A-D. The K is silent." "Oh," said Mike, "So, do you say kn-EAD bread?" as he pronounced the first part of the word quietly and the second part of the word silently." "This conversation is over," I said, "Trudy, will you look after Leo? I'm going to see Nikki." "I should come with you," said Mike. "No," I said, "She'll already be p*ssed off. Me turning up with you will make her get even more p*ssed off." "But she might try and stab you again," said a worried Mike. "I'll look after myself," I said, "Don't worry." "What about meeting up with me and Cyn for tea?" asked Mike. "I'll meet you at Sails Café once I've had a chat with Nikki," I said. "A chat?" said Trudy, "I think it's gone beyond a chat." "No offence Trudy, but when I want advice from someone who got pregnant by THAT tw*t after being shagged up against a sink, I'll let you know." "Best sex she's ever had," said a TJ with a smirk. "Look, Luke," snapped Trudy, "I might not be perfect and all that, but I don't go around kicking the sh*t out of my boyfriends every five minutes, and I don't make excuses for violent tw*ts like your girlfriend. You've got a kid to think about. Maybe you should be thinking about what's best for him rather than what's best for Nikki." Annoyingly Trudy had a point, but I was p*ssed off with her, so I just stormed out and headed to Sandown.

When I arrived back at my house, I didn't knock on the door and wait for Nikki to answer it like I did last time I walked out, I just opened the door and walked into the living room. Nikki was sat on the sofa reading a book and petting that f*cking vicious cat who immediately turned around and hissed at me. "Oh," said Nikki, putting her book down and standing up off the sofa, "So you've come, back have you? Where's Leo?" "He's with Trudy," I said. "OK," said Nikki, "Let's not drag this out. I accept your apology, now let's just move on." "Whoa, hang on a minute," I exclaimed, "I never said a f*cking word. Who said anything about me apologising?" "Well, isn't that why you've come round?" asked Nikki. "No!" I loudly exclaimed, "I came round here to get an apology off you!" "Me!?" exclaimed Nikki, "Are you serious!? I catch you having sex with Naomi in a broom cupboard, you lie to me about it, treat me like an idiot and then abandon me after I've taken an overdose, and you think it's me that needs to apologise to you!" "Oh, you can just f*ck right off!" I loudly snapped. "Excuse me?" Nikki snapped back, widening her eyes and giving me a seriously unimpressed look.  "You heard me!" I snapped. At this point I was so angry that I didn't give a toss about Nikki giving me her usual death stare. Her attitude was really starting to p*ss me off. "You heard," I snapped, "I said you can f*ck right off. That's some pretty ugly and rather delusional cherry picking you're doing there. I didn't shag Naomi. You didn't catch us having sex, you saw us both fall out the cupboard. Yes, it looks bad, but I was in the cupboard hiding her from your psycho ex to make sure he didn't put her in prison. She told me she didn't hit you and I always thought she was lying but now I'm not so sure, and as for the overdose. I was the one that got all those pills out of your body. You didn't want to kill yourself. People that really want to kill themselves don't swallow a load of tablets in front of someone. You wanted attention. You wanted to be the victim. Heaven forbid someone else takes the victim spotlight off you, oh...and as for what I supposedly did to you... What about what you f*cking did to me? Cutting up all my clothes was bad enough, but coming at me with a pair of scissors. Bang out of order." I showed Nikki the bandage on my shoulder, and the wounds on my face and my arm. "Look at me," I snapped, "Look at the f*cking state of me. You did that! And unlike the injuries you faked, these injuries are real. I'm not the one that owes you an apology, it's you that needs to say sorry to me!" The fury on Nikki's face was palpable. She quickly turned round, grabbed the nearest thing to her which was a mug and was just about to throw it at me, when, as quick as a flash I was overcome with anger and determination, and launched myself at Nikki and grabbed hold of her arm. "NO!" I loudly and aggressively said, "NO! No more. No more violence." I shook Nikki's hand and she dropped the mug and then plonked herself down on the sofa. A tense silence followed. "Nikki, this has got to stop," I said. "You've got to stop lying to me," said Nikki. "I'm not lying to you," I said, "Nothing is going on with me and Naomi." "Well, maybe I can make sure nothing's going on," said Nikki with a smug grin on her face, "I could tell my ex about how she broke into The Hive. He'll chuck her in The Isle of Wight Prison faster than her legs can carry her." I raised my eyes, closed my eyes and gave a deep, frustrating breath. It was obvious Nikki was in no mood to have a rational conversation. "Nikki," I said, "Let me make this really clear. If you tell your psycho ex about Naomi breaking into The Hive, I will tell him about you stabbing me, and based on his blatantly low opinion of you, I don't think Naomi will be the only one ending up in the Isle of Wight Prison faster than her legs can carry her." Nikki looked at me with an extremely shocked and outraged look on her face. I had her over a barrel. "Nikki," I said, "You need to admit you've got a problem. If you admit to it, we can look at getting you some help. If you won't admit to it then we've got a problem. I can't have my son around all this chaos. I'll leave you to think about it for a day or so. I'll be at Trudy's."

I left feeling very proud of myself. I'd taken control, laid down the law and told Nikki how it is. It's up to her now. The ball is in her court. She needs to think about what I've said and maybe we can have another, perhaps calmer talk, in a day or so.

I left Sandown and went back to Cowes where I met up with Sci-Fi Cyn and Mike in Sails Café. Trudy was there too. When I walked into the café Trudy, Cyn and Mike were already sat around the table, obviously talking about me. "Oh my God," gasped Sci-Fi Cyn, "Look at your face." "Yeah, it's never been nice to look at," said Trudy. "I think she's on about the cut," I bluntly said. "His shoulder's worse," said Mike, "If it was up to me, I'd grab hold of that Nikki and dangle her off the end of Sandown Pier by her eye lashes whilst jabbing her with a cattle prod." "I'd just give her a good kick in and give her some of her own medicine," said Trudy. "Look," I said, "I am trying to sort all this out. Comments like that don't help." "Luke, she's stabbed you," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "If you tell Richard T, he'll lock her up." "Yeah, well I don't want her locked up," I said. "You're off your head," said Trudy, "I reckon it's you that needs locking up – in the loony bin. Why are you protecting someone like her?" "She's still my girlfriend," I said, "And remember it's not her fault she is the way she is. Tinsley was really violent towards her, and Leo really likes her. I've got to think of him." "If you were thinking of Leo you wouldn't stay in this violent relationship," said Trudy.

Sci-Fi Cyn went and got me a cup of tea and then I sat down and told everyone about my "discussion" with Nikki. "She was going to throw a mug at you?" gasped Cyn. "Yes, but I stopped her," I said, "I was so sick of listening to her sh*t, I just took control, made her drop the mug and told her that I'd had enough." "About f*cking time," said Trudy. "You should have chopped her hand off and whacked her around the face with her own severed limb," said Mike. "I told her that if she told Tinsley about Naomi breaking into The Hive that I'd tell him about her attacking me and that she'd get locked up too." "You told her that!?" exclaimed Trudy. "Yeah," I said. "Well, it's about time you dug deep and found some balls," said Trudy, "Oh that reminds me; Naomi came round to see you earlier on. I told her you were in Sandown getting ready for round two with Mike Tyson." "What did she want?" I asked. "I think she just wanted to know you were OK," said Trudy. "I might pop round and see her tomorrow," I said. "So, what now?" said Mike. "I've told her that she needs to admit that she has a problem and that she needs help," I said. "Sorry..." said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Are you saying that if she admits she's got a problem you might go back to her?" "Yeah," I said. "You're off your scone," said a blunt Trudy, "Remember what I told you before. Think of Leo. Do you want him around when psycho Sally comes at you again with another pair of scissors?" "I AM thinking of Leo," I firmly said, "He needs a Mum. If Nikki admits she has a problem and gets some sort of help, then all of this could be sorted." "Luke, she stabbed you," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Talk about clutching at straws," said Trudy, "It's going to take more than her admitting to having a problem to fix this sh*t." "Well, if she does admit it," I said, "It's a good start. Maybe we can get her some counselling or something. Leo needs a Mum." "Leo needs a decent and safe home," said Trudy, "No Mum is better than a violent Mum. Did you get your apology off her?" "No," I said. "'Course you didn't," said Trudy, "You've got more chance of plaiting p*ss than getting an apology out of that crazy b*tch."

The good news is that I've managed to get word to Gary and Natasha at The Hive. I'm taking the rest of this week off. I need some time to get my head straight and figure out what I'm going to do about me and Nikki.

In other news the group counselling sessions have been arranged, and I'm going to go to the one at Cowes Community Centre tomorrow with Mike, Trudy and TJ. Maybe the counsellor there can help out with some sort of suggestion for how he/she could help Nikki.

For now, it's another night sharing a bed with Mike...