Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1051: Tuesday 13th August 2019

Entry 1051
Tuesday 13th August 2019

I'm such a silly sod! I got all my work shifts mixed up. I'm not working today – I'm working tomorrow, so the good news is that this meant I could spend some more time with Nikki.

Once Nikki returned from her counselling session, we both went for a walk on Sandown Beach and had a chat. "I know you don't like talking about it," I said, "But I need to know how the counselling is going. I don't need details, but I just need a bit of an idea of the impact it's having on you." "It's going well," said Nikki, making it obvious she didn't really want to talk about it. "Do you think it's helping you to find different ways of expressing your anger?" I asked. "Hmmm," said Nikki. "So, do you think you've got some new ways that can help you get your anger out without being..." I said, struggling to find the right word to end that sentence. "Without being what?" Nikki firmly asked. "Well, do you think that you can express your anger in a better way than you did before?" I asked. "Luke, I feel like I'm on trial here," said a firm Nikki, "Counselling is meant to be helping me not judging me. If you didn't lie to me and give me a reason to get angry, maybe I wouldn't actually get as angry so often." "Babes, I don't want to argue with you," I said, "I just want to know how it's going?" "Well, how do you think it's going?" snapped Nikki, "Have we got into a physical altercation since I started the sessions? No! So that should tell you how it's all going. God, you can be so stupid sometimes." "I'm just thinking about when it might be the right time for Leo to come back," I said. "He should be with us now," said a firm Nikki, "We're his parents for Christ sake. Him being taken off us like this is like some sort of punishment. It's not right. I miss him so much." "Well, I'm going to Cowes later on," I said, "Why don't you come with me? Leo would love to see you." "Who's going to be there?" asked Nikki. "Me, Mike, Mum and Sci-Fi Cyn," I said. Nikki gave a depressing sigh and rolled her eyes. "Don't be like that," I said, "I know you all don't get on but for the sake of Leo I'm sure we can all be civil." "No," said Nikki, "It's a bad idea. I'll come with you if we can both be on our own with Leo." "Well, I wanted to spend a bit of time with Mum, Mike and Cyn," I said. "And you don't want to spend time with me?" snapped Nikki. "I'll tell you what," I said, "I'll have a chat with Mike, Mum and Cyn, tell them that I want you to come to Cowes with me to see Leo, and I'll see what they think." "See what they think!?" exclaimed Nikki, "It sounds like you're asking their permission. He's our son, not theirs!" "I'm not asking anyone's permission, "I said, "I'm simply saying that if Mike, Mum and Cyn think about seeing you in Cowes and being civil to you, will you think about coming to Cowes and being civil to them?" A tense paused followed. Eventually, Nikki reluctantly said she'd think about it.

I went into Cowes and spent some time with Mike, Mum, Leo and Sci-Fi Cyn at Sails Café and asked them what they thought of Nikki coming with me to Cowes. The jolly chatty atmosphere that we were enjoying suddenly changed to one of tension and awkwardness. It was palpable. "Christ," I said, "I'm just asking if I can bring my girlfriend here so she can have a cup of tea and see Leo. Look at your faces. Anyone'd think I'd just sh*t on the table and told you I had a 12-year-old girlfriend." "I'd be more welcoming of a sh*t on the table," said Mum, in a blunt tone. "Look," I said, "I know you don't like her, but she's missing Leo, and Leo must be missing her." "Babes, if that woman sits opposite me, it's going to take all my strength to resist repeatedly slamming her head on the table until all that's left of her face is a gooey mess of bloody flesh and shattered skull," said Mike. "Mike, shut up," I firmly said, "That's not helping. Look, Leo is my son at the end of the day. I don't need your permission if I want my girlfriend to see him. I'm just talking to you to be nice about it." "You're right," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "He is your son, and no one can tell you what to do with him, but do you remember the reason you've left him with your Mum and Trudy in the first place?" "Exactly," snapped Mum, "She's been kicking the sh*t out of you for ages, and you've been keeping it secret. I don't want that psycho around my grandson. Christ, I don't even want her around you." "She would never hurt, Leo," I said. "But she might hurt you in front of Leo," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Not if I'm here," said Mike, "I'll snap her neck in half if it looks like she's even thinking of raising a hand to you." "She's having counselling," I said, "It's going well. There's been no violence, since she started the sessions." "Early days," said Mum. "Look, I don't need your permission," I snapped, "If I want to bring Nikki here so we can spend some time on our own with Leo, then that's what I'll do." "Hang on," said Mum, "You're not on about being with Leo with just her on your own? With none of us around?" "Mum," I said, "Me and Nikki can be on our own with Leo." "What if she loses her temper?" asked Mum, "What if she starts laying into you in front of Leo? The woman can't control her anger. My God, why are we even having this conversation?" "We're having this conversation because Leo is MY son, not yours," I snapped at Mum, "What are you trying to do? Make up for being a sh*t Mum to me, by being a good grandmother to him?" "Now you listen to me," snapped Mum, "Three things: one, I am helping you by making sure your son is out of a potentially dangerous and violent environment, two; Yes, I was a cr*p Mum but I won't spend the rest of my life apologising for it, and three; I am far too young and attractive to ever be called a grandmother." "Luke, we're just not sure that what you're suggesting is a good idea," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "It's a bl**dy awful idea," said Mum. "Look," I snapped, "He's my son. It's that simple. I'll walk out of here with him right now, if I want to." "Except you won't do that will you, Luke?" said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Because at the moment, you know he's better off with your Mum and Trudy. If you thought otherwise you wouldn't be having this conversation right now." A short silence followed. Cyn was right. "Look," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Let us have some time to think about this. If Nikki can come here and be civil to us, I'm sure we can be civil to her. At the end of the day this is all about what's best for Leo." "But we don't want you to get hurt either babes," Mike said to me.

When I got home, I told Nikki that Mum, Cyn and Mike were thinking about my suggestion regarding Nikki coming to Cowes. To be honest, I'm not totally convinced it's a good idea myself, but I can see how she's missing Leo, and Leo must be missing her too. I hope we'll all be able to get together and at least be civil... For Leo's sake.

Still no word from that psycho Tinsley and his hunt to find the cow thieves. I suppose no news is good news...