Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1123: Thursday 24th October 2019

Entry 1123
Thursday 24th October 2019

A drama-free day, thank God.

I did a shift at the prison. It wasn't too bad. Wiping tables and mopping floors. A bit boring but it was over with quickly, and it was better than being at The Hive, and thankfully I didn't see that psycho Harold Endo again.

I bumped into Tinsley earlier on. Literally. That was awkward. I'd just been to Sainsbury's and was walking out of the store when I walked straight into Tinsley. I looked up and gasped when I realised it was him. "Oh God," I said, "I..." "Why don't you look where you're f*cking going you limp piece of sh*t?" said an angry Tinsley with the usual tense look on his face. "Sorry," I said, "I..." "I don't want to hear your sorry, Warm, you puny little f*ck. Just get the f*ck out of my way." Tinsley staretd to walk off but I called him back. "Don't we need to talk?" I asked him. Tinsley stopped, turned round and gave me a firm glance. "What the flying f*ck have I got to talk to you about?" snapped Tinsley. "Well," I said, stuttering as I tried to control the fear in my voice, "Auntie Meryl heard your announcement the other day." "And what the f*ck are you telling me that for?" frowned Tinsley looking at me like I was some sort of oddball. "Well, she figured out that she's the pensioner you referred to," I said, "She knows it was her that accidentally blew up Ryde." "What do you want me to do about it?" snapped Tinsley, "get her some f*cking counselling?" "Well, I just wondered if we should talk about it?" I asked. "You just wondered, did you, Warm?" snapped Tinsley, "Well, I just wondered whether or not I should snap your face in two. We got nothing to talk about Warm!" "I just don't want lots of people knowing that Auntie Meryl was the one who had the iPad," I said. "Well, I ain't gunna say anything," said Tinsley, "People are blaming Blade, and that suits me just fine. Now are we done here?" I nodded. "Good," said Tinsley. "Well," I tentatively said, as Tinsley turned back around and gave me an angry and impatient stare. "Sorry," I said, noticing Tinsley's fury, "I'll be quick. It's just that we saw Helen yesterday and she told us about... Well... What happened." "Yeah, and?" said Tinsley shrugging his shoulders. "Erm... Well..." I said, "I...." "F*CKING SPEAK!" Tinsley snapped. "I don't know," I said, "I just don't think that killing Helen's daughter in front of her like that was very nice, and I suppose we all need to know how the outbreak in GRID HQ happened. I also don't think letting the infected out of The Hive to use them as target practice was a good idea." I was surprised at this new found confidence but surprise was quickly replaced with fear when Tinsley took a scary step toward me and looked me right in the eye with a crazed expression. "Now you listen to me you sleazy little spunk stain," said a tense Tinsley, "I don't care what you think is and isn't nice. After Helen's lies, she's lucky not to be in prison. I don't know how the outbreak happened. I have people looking into it, and as far your opinion on me using the infected for target practice, you can stick your opinion up your saggy, p*ss weak ass. You need to listen out for the next announcement Warm. I told you I'd making changes to the way things are run on this island, and I'm going to be making some more, and if you don't like the changes, or what I do with the infected, then you can get a boat and f*ck right off over to the mainland. Now if you've finished talking sh*t, get out of my f*cking face." I left, thinking I'd better not push my luck any further. I don't know what Tinsley's announcement will be. I suppose I'll find out. I was just glad to get away from him when he turned up the volume on his anger. I was hoping he'd give me a clue as to how he found out Eleanor and Kayleigh were underground below GRID HQ, but he didn't give anything away. I also needed to make sure I didn't say anything that would give me away! At least he won't tell others about Auntie Meryl accidentally blowing up Ryde.

Auntie Meryl seems to have perked up. I was sat in the living with her in the evening when she suddenly put down her crossword puzzle and looked like she'd just realised something. "I left a pie in the oven," she said. "You what?" I said. "A pie," she said, "I left it in the oven." "Oh God," I gasped, standing up off the sofa, feeling worried, "When did you put the pie in?" "20:15," said Auntie Meryl. I looked at my watch. "God, Auntie Meryl," I said, rushing into the kitchen, "It's 21:45 now." I ran into the kitchen, opened the oven and found there was nothing there. "There's nothing in the oven!" I loudly called through to Auntie Meryl. I closed the over door and returned to the living room. "You what?" said Auntie Meryl. "There's nothing in the oven," I said. "Well, I didn't put it in that oven you silly sod," said Auntie Meryl. "Eh?" I said, "What are you on about? Which over did you put it in?" "Betty Crack's," said Auntie Meryl. "What the Hell are you talking about?" I exclaimed. "I put a pie in Betty Crack's oven, and I just remembered that I left it in there," said Auntie Meryl. "When was this?" I exclaimed. "I told you," said Auntie Meryl, "In 2015." "God!" I snapped, "I thought that was the time, not the year! Why are you randomly remembering pies that you put in Betty Crack's oven four years ago? What's the point in thinking about that now?" Well, the clue to fifteen across in my book is 'a type of cooker' and I think the answer is smeg, and Betty Crack had a smeg cooker, and that's what reminded me that I never took the pie out." "Yeah, well there's nothing you can do about it now," I said, "Just forget about it." Whilst I found myself feeling slightly frustrated at enduring another annoying conversation with Auntie Meryl, I was relieved that she wasn't worried about her accidentally blowing up Ryde.

I'm at Naomi's and Ash's now. Me and Leo are staying over again. We stayed over last night, and when I got up to go to the bathroom, Leo jumped into bed with Naomi again. It's gone from adorable to annoying. Naomi said he was OK to sleep with us but I said no. I picked him up and put him back in his own bed. He staretd shouting and screaming and throwing a right tantrum but I told him that he had to stay in his own bed. It took us a while to calm him down and Naomi said we should let him sleep with us but I told her that Leo needed to learn he couldn't keep getting his own way, and that he had to learn that shouting and screaming won't get him what he wants. I was also thinking that I wanted to be on my own in bed with Naomi. Once Leo had gone to sleep I staretd to touch Naomi's boobs and give them a squeeze thinking that it would lead on to sex, but Naomi thought I was trying to cuddle her, and she ended up grabbing my arm and cuddling up to me. I found all this very frustrating. It's like she doesn't want to have sex with me. I know I'm not exactly a sex stud, but I'm not that bad! We can't carry on being boyfriend and girlfriend and not having sex. Let's see what happens...