Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1073: Wednesday 4th September 2019

Entry 1073
Wednesday 4th September 2019

I've come to a decision...

I met up with Mike and Sci-Fi Cyn at Sais Café today. We had a chat over a cuppa, talked about how Auntie Meryl was getting on, and then we got on to the subject of when Naomi and I went to Tonino's for a meal. This obviously led to talking about the situation with Nikki. "So, what was the food like?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn, "You know, I still think it's amazing that we have a fully functioning Italian restaurant on the island. I mean, I know they can't do loads of complicated dishes, but it's pretty good." "Well, we didn't actually get to the food bit," I said. "What do you mean?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn. "Nikki turned up," I said. Mike, who was only half listening up to this point, froze and slowly raised his head revealing a tense expression. "Nikki?" said Sci-Fi Cyn, "What was she doing there? How did she even know that's where you were?" "Mum, told her," I said. "She came looking for you just to ruin your evening out?" said Sci-Fi Cyn, "She really is vicious, isn't she?" "Well, she came looking for me because she wanted to tell me something," I said. "Tell you something?" said Sci-Fi Cyn, "What did she want to tell you?" Noticing the tense look on Mike's face, I took a deep breath and just came out with it. "She's pregnant," I said, "Well... She's saying she's pregnant." "F*CK. OFF!" Mike angrily and loudly snapped. "Oh God," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Well that makes things complicated. What are you going to do?" "I don't know," I said, "She came round yesterday barking orders at me, telling me to get a job, start supporting her and all that. She even told me to move back in with her." I noticed Mike's tense expression intensify. "Mike, it's OK," I said, "I told her to get lost. Mum and Naomi were there. They backed me up. I need to have a think about what I'm going to do. Nikki's made it clear that she's keeping the baby." Mike slowly nodded his head. "I see," he quietly said. He then calmly stood up walked towards the exchange and exited the café. Sci-Fi Cyn and I exchanged expression of concern and quickly follow Mike out of the café. "Mike, what are you doing? Where are you going?" I asked with concern in my voice. "Don't worry babes," said Mike, "I'm going to sort everything out for you." "No, hang on," I said, as I tried to stop Mike from walking up the High Street, "What does that mean? What are you going to do?" "Babes, you really don't need to worry," said Mike, "I told you about that girl in school who I helped to have an abortion." [ENTRY 1038]. "What does that mean!?" I gasped. "Babes. Seriously," said Mike, "Don't worry, "Some rubber, a pair of tongs and a couple of elastic bands is all it's going to take for your problem to be over." Mike started to walk off but again I stopped him. "Mike," I firmly said with a look of shock on my face, "You cannot give Nikki a home-made abortion." "Why not?" asked Mike. "Because she doesn't want one," I said. "You let me worry about that," said Mike, giving me a cheeky wink. "No!" I loudly gasped, "Mike. I know you're trying to help, but this is not going to help." "Do you want her to have this baby?" asked Mike. "I don't know what I want to be honest," I said, "I just know that I don't want you getting involved. It'll make things worse between me and Nikki, and you'll get into loads of trouble." "Only if people find out," said Mike. "People WILL find out," I exclaimed, "Nikki's not going to stay quiet about you forcing her to have an abortion." "She will if I do something to her tongue with a pair of kitchen scissors." "No!" I loudly gasped, "Mike. Please. This will just make things worse. I've told Nikki that I want nothing to do with her and that I might not even want anything to do with the baby. Please Mike. Don't get involved." "Hmmm, OK," said Mike, "But if you need my help, just give me the nod."

Mike and I returned to the café and along with Sci-Fi Cyn, we continued chatting about the situation. I was no further forward in coming to a definite decision, but it was good to get some of the stress off my chest and get some support and words of comfort – well from Sci-Fi Cyn at least anyway.

After I went to see Auntie Meryl, I came back to Cowes and took Leo for a walk on the beach. On the way to the beach, I saw Tinsley speaking to two GRID soldiers just outside Sainsbury's. I walked over to him, flashed him a smile and raised my eyebrows to let him know that I was there and wanted to talk to him. Tinsley turned, gave me a blunt look, and then turned back to the two soldiers and continued his conversation. Like a nervous schoolboy waiting to speak to a teacher I just stood there waiting. After about two minutes (which felt like a lifetime!) the two GRID soldiers left and Tinsley turned and gave me a stern look. "And what the f*ck do you want Warm?" he angrily asked. "Well..." I said, stuttering with nerves, "I... Well... It's... Err... I know you're busy... But..." "Get to the f*cking point, Warm," said Tinsley, "I've only got about another sixty years to live." "I need a job," I said. "You work at The Hive sweeping up sh*t," said Tinsley. "Well, I've moved back to Cowes," I said, "I've moved back in with Mum and Auntie Meryl. Did you hear about her accident?" "Yeah, I heard," said Tinsley, "So you and Nikki and have moved back to Cowes to be with your Auntie, have you?" "Well, it's just me and Leo, actually," I said, "Me and Nikki aren't together anymore." "Who chucked who" asked Tinsley. "Well, I found out she was telling me a load of lies," I said, "It got a bit heated, so I walked out. I don't really want to talk about it." "Told you she was a f*cking psycho, didn't I?" said Tinsley, "You're better off without her." "Well, I could really do with a job closer to Cowes," I said, "I need to start earning credits and I don't really want to travel to The Hive from Cowes every day." "The prison needs cleaners and people to work in the canteen," said Tinsley, "I'll get you sorted out there." "Oh," I said, preparing to protest, "I..." "Problem?" asked Tinsley in an intimidating tone and starring me intensely in the face. "Err, no," I said, not wanting to p*ss him off, "No. Thanks. I appreciate it. Nikki's told me she's pregnant, so I need a job more than ever." "Ha!" chuckled Tinsley, "Got her pregnant, did you? That's one mistake I never did. Good luck with dealing with all that sh*t. She's going to make your f*cking life Hell. She's the last person you want to get pregnant. Speak to someone at GRID HQ. If you've got a sprog on the way they might sort you out with some extra credits, but if I were you, I'd get her to show you some indisputable proof that she is pregnant and that the baby's yours." "She's shown me a scan photo," I said, "And she said I can go with her to the hospital and see the Doctors," I said. "Whatever Warm," said Tinsley, "This sh*t is for you to deal with me, not me. I'll sort out your new job, but don't come whinging to me about all your problems. I'm not a counsellor. Go on. On your way. Your boy looks like he could do with some fresh air." I left Tinsley feeling relieved that he was going to sort me out with a new job, but annoyed that it was a yet another sh*tty job that involved me cleaning the prison.

I took Leo to the beach, and on the way there I noticed that Trudy was with Primark on the seafront. They were looking at out to sea and pointing at the sky. I walked over to them with Leo and said hello. "You alright?" Trudy asked. "Not really," I said. "For f*cks sake," said Trudy, "What's happened now? You're always moaning about something." "Yeah, well, this time I've actually got something to moan about," I said. "Oh, yeah?" said Trudy, "Like what?" "Nikki's pregnant," I said. "Sh* the bed!" gasped Trudy, "You're kidding!?" "No," I said. "Pregnant!" gasped Trudy, "With a baby!?" "No," I sarcastically replied, "With a kitten! Of course, with a f*cking baby." "Well, you're up Sh*t Street, aren't you?" "Please," I firmly said, "I don't need any more helpful comments. Mum thinks I'm stupid, Auntie Meryl thinks I should get a DNA test from C&A and Mike's on the edge of performing a homemade abortion." "Well at least Leo will have a little brother or sister. Since Aldi died, I sometimes get a bit sad seeing Primark without other kids to play with." "Yeah, but he can play with Leo and Sophie," I said. "I know," said Trudy, "But I think it's different when it's a sibling. Mind you, I'm not sure if we live in a world that's good to bring kids up in. Infected everywhere, lives being in danger, food shortages, turning into one of the undead when you die. Not exactly child-friendly world, is it?" "You've done alright with Primark," I said, "And Naomi's done OK with Sophie." "Yeah, but Naomi's daughter Courtney got pregnant before the outbreak, and I got pregnant during the early days of the outbreak. I thought it was all going to get sorted out. I didn't think I'd be on an island after trying to stay alive over on the mainland." "Well, maybe that's another reason for Nikki to have an abortion," I said, "But she's made her mind up. She wants this kid. The idea of Leo having a brother or sister might be nice, but the idea of putting up with Nikki for eighteen years just fills me with dread. I've told her that I don't think I want to have anything to do with her or her kid." "HER kid?" said Trudy, "It's not just HER kid. It's YOUR kid too. Do you really want to look the other way whilst she's on the other side of the island bringing up your child?" "Trudy, Nikki is a nightmare," I said. "I know that" said Trudy, "I just have to look at her face and I want to kick her in the m*nge, but you've got to see past that. Look at me and TJ. It gets on my b*stard nerves every day. I care about him, but that doesn't stop me fantasying about kicking him had in the b*llocks and sticking in his head in the microwave every time I hear one of his bullsh*t stories but he's the father of my son. I put up with his sh*t for the sake of Primark, and he puts up with my sh*t for the same reason." "What are you saying?" I bluntly asked. "That you don't get to enjoy a clean toilet without dealing with some sh*t," said Trudy, "Luke, my son died, Courtney's kid died, Nicola lost her baby, look what happened with Robbie. Your son got kidnapped and then did a disappearing act. You weren't there when Kyle was born, and you weren't there when Leo was born. Don't you want to be there to see your new kid born? I mean the idea of seeing something coming out of that beast's snatch is not something I'd want to see, but she's not pregnant with my kid." Hearing Trudy say these words had a powerful effect on me. It was like something in my head suddenly and dramatically changed. "Do you know what?" I said, "For a gobby chav, you sometimes say some really meaningful stuff." "F*ck off you pr*ck," snapped Trudy, "Call me a chav again and I'll f*ck up your kn*ckers so bad you'll never be able to have kids again." I smiled at Trudy, put my arm around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "F*cking pansy," said Trudy.

After I'd spent some time with Leo on the beach, I walked back home and during the walk I came to a decision. I'm going to move back in with Nikki. I know some people will probably think I'm mad, and I know that Mum will probably kick off, but I don't care. It'll be nice for Leo to have a little brother and sister, and Esther and Caroline never gave me the opportunity to be there when Leo and Kyle were born. I've got a chance to be a dad right from the start. I need to think about how this is all going to work practically, especially as I've just told Tinsley I need a job here in Cowes. Maybe Nikki can move in with me, Mum, and Auntie Meryl? Mind you, as I say that out loud it doesn't sound like the best idea. Maybe Nikki and I could get our own place in Cowes. If I move back to Sandown I might as well stay working at The Hive, but I don't like the idea of me telling Tinsley that I've changed my mind. The man maniac has a very short fuse. Whatever happens, Nikki and I will certainly need to come up with some sort of ground rules. I'm 100% not going to put up with any of her sh*t, and I certainly won't endure any of her violence. The first thing I need to do is tell Mum. She'll hit the roof...

It's weird. I never thought I'd say this but I'm actually looking forward to being a dad and being there throughout the pregnancy and right from the start.