Entry 1068
Friday 30th August 2019
They're talking about turning off Auntie Meryl's life support. I knew it! I knew this was coming! They haven't said they want to do it, but they've strongly implied it, saying it's something we should give some "serious thought" to. They can f*ck off! There's no way I'm giving that horrible suggestion any thought! Turning off her life support! It's not an option. It's just not going to happen!
I'm all over the place at the moment. Part of me feels really angry that they've started talking about all this, but another part of me feels really sad, but it's like they're saying Auntie Meryl isn't going to wake up, and we just don't know that. She could wake up later today for all we know. Yes, OK, she's been in this coma for about a week, but it doesn't mean she'll be in it for another week. I just can't get my head around the possibility that people are talking about turning off her life support.
Naomi has been great, and she has been with me 100% ever since we got here at the hospital. "Don't worry," she said, "They can't turn off her life support without your permission." "Well, I'm not going to give it," I firmly said. "Of course, you're not," said Naomi, "We're not going to give up on her are we." Mum, then said something that really annoyed. "Sausage," said Mum, "I want the silly old cow to be OK as much as you, but maybe we have to accept..." "Stop right there," I firmly said, holding the palm of my hand up, "I know how that sentence finishes and I don't want to hear it, and Mum, you were great looking after me when I went through all that sh*t with Nikki, but I'm telling you now, if you even TRY to convince me to turn off Auntie Meryl's life support, you'll never see me or Leo ever again." Mum looked shocked as I stared at her with a harsh look on my face. Looking slightly upset, she walked out of the room, but I really didn't care. As I keep saying, my focus is on Auntie Meryl now, and anyone – ANYONE who tries to convince me that turning off her life support might be a good idea is going to get the same firm response I gave to Mum.
We are NOT turning off her life support, and that's final.
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