Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 969: Thursday 23rd May 2019

Entry 969
Thursday 23rd May 2019

I have no idea what's just happened, but I'm currently sat on the end of my bed with a bruised arm and a whole lot of confusion.

I woke up, sorted Leo out, had some breakfast and got ready for work. I tried to radio through to Nikki but she wasn't responding so I guessed she was still in bed. I went to work, came home, played with Leo for a bit and then tried to radio through to Nikki. Again, no response. Mum agreed to look after Leo whilst I went round to Nikki's to see if she was OK.

When I arrived at Nikki's I knocked on the door and a few moments later she opened it, but instead of appearing all tired and ill (which is what I was expecting) she appeared a picture of perfect health, and she didn't look ill at all. As soon as she saw me stood on the doorstep, she looked shocked but this was quickly replaced with disappointment, which was subsequently replaced with frustration. "Oh..." I said, sounding rather surprised. "What do you want, Luke?" said an angry Nikki, rolling her eyes and giving a tired sigh. "Well, I just came round to see if you were OK," I said, "I tried radioing you but I didn't get a response. Is something wrong?" "Just go away, Luke," Nikki firmly said. She tried to close the door but I stopped her. "No, come on," I said, "If you're in a mood about something I want to know what it is. We can talk about it. Have I done something wrong?" "Yes!" Nikki loudly snapped. "Well, what is it?" I asked, frowning with confusion. "Oh, don't stand there, acting like you don't know," snapped Nikki. "I don't know," I said, "Talk to me. What have I done wrong?" "Oh my God," snapped Nikki, "You really are stupid, aren't you?" "Look, just tell me what you think I've done that's p*ssed you off," I said. "It's not what I THINK you've done," snapped Nikki, "It's what I know you've done!" "For God's sake," I exclaimed, "Will you just tell me what it is? Is it because I didn't come round and see you yesterday? You told me you wanted to be on your own." "I told you I wanted to be on my own because I was angry with you," snapped Nikki, "I wasn't even poorly." "Well, why did you tell me you were?" I asked. "Because I didn't want to talk to you!" Nikki loudly snapped. "Why, what have I done?" I exclaimed. "Oh, for God's sake," snapped Nikki, throwing her hands in the air, "You should know what you've done!" "I can't know if you don't bl**dy tell me!" I loudly snapped. "I shouldn't have to tell you," snapped Nikki, "It's obvious!" "Well obviously not to me" I snapped, "So just tell me!" "The other night at Richard and Madeline's," said Nikki. "What about it?" I said. "Have you any idea how embarrassed I was?" snapped Nikki. "Embarrassed?" I said, "What were you embarrassed for?" "Well, let's see," said Nikki, sarcastically, "First of all I thought it was just going to be me, you, Richard and Madeline, and then when I get there all of your so-called mates are there. Then TJ starts behaving inappropriately, Trudy insulted me and threatened me, and that Mike guy cornered me when I left the loo telling me that if I ever hurt you, he'd gauge my eyes out and feed them to me." "Oh God," I said, rolling my eyes and feeling embarrassed, "I'm sorry. Mike just gets carried away. I'll have a word with him. You should have told me he said something." "It's not just about Mike, Luke," snapped Nikki, "The whole evening was awful." "Well, you should have said something," I said. "Oh, so it's my fault the evening was such a disaster, because I didn't say anything?" snapped Nikki. "No, I didn't say that," I said, "I'm just saying you should have told me. I'll have a word with Mike, but I didn't know Madeline was going to invite the others. I was just as surprised as you were. Look, I'll have a word with TJ and Trudy too and tell them to keep their opinions to themselves." "You should have stood up for me," snapped Nikki, "It was an awful evening, and then to make matters worse I find out that Naomi is your ex-girlfriend. You told me that you wouldn't keep any secrets from me. You told me that I knew about all of your ex's. How do you think I feel knowing I was sat opposite that b*tch?" "Naomi isn't my ex-girlfriend," I said, "She's never been my girlfriend." "You kissed her," snapped Nikki. "Yeah, months ago when the world was about to get blown up," I snapped. "Well, if you kissed her you must have had feelings for her!" snapped Nikki. "Look, I'll be honest," I said, "I used to have feelings for her, but I don't anymore. They died a long time ago. It's you I care about, you. It's you I'm with. Naomi is just a friend. Please, Nikki, we don't need to be having this argument." "How do you think I felt with everyone saying you used to lust after her?" snapped Nikki, "I felt awful. Utterly embarrassed. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me find out about you and Naomi like that? If I took you out to a meal and there was going to be a guy there who I'd kissed and who I used to have feelings for – I'd tell you. That's because I respect you. I clearly respect you, more than you resect me. The thing is though, I would never take you anywhere a) where there was someone who I used to have feelings for, and b) I certainly wouldn't do it without telling you. I mean, how selfish and inconsiderate can you be?" "Nikki, I'm really sorry," I said, "I just didn't think." "You seem to do that a lot," Nikki bluntly said. "I didn't say anything because I just didn't think anything needed to be said," I said, "That's how little of an issue I see this as." "Me sitting in a room full of people insulting me, threatening me, and telling me how much you lusted after the woman sat in front of me?" said Nikki, "You don't see that as an issue?" "No!" I loudly said, "Nikki, I didn't mean that." "Look, Luke," snapped Nikki, "You need to make a decision. I'm not going to be in a relationship with a man who just sits there whilst I'm insulted and threatened, and I certainly won't be in a relationship with a man who doesn't think he needs to tell me I'm going to dinner with a woman he once kissed and lusted after." "I didn't know Naomi would be there!" I yelled. "That's not the point!" Nikki yelled back at me even louder, "You should have already told me, and the fact that you didn't tell me makes me wonder if you DO still have feelings for Naomi." "I don't have feelings for Naomi," I said, "Not those sorts of feelings. Like I said she's just a mate." "She has feelings for you," snapped Nikki. "You what?" I said. "She has feelings for you, Luke," said Nikki, "It's obvious. The look on her face, her body language, how she hardly said anything. She has feelings for you." "Naomi, does not have feelings for me," I said. "Luke. She does," Nikki firmly said. "Look, it doesn't matter," I said, "I'm with you, not her." "How do I know you're not really still lusting after her!?" snapped Nikki. "Because I'm telling you I'm not!" I loudly said. "Like I can just take your word for it," snapped Nikki. "Well, what do you want me to do?" I snapped. "Prove it to me," snapped Nikki, "Stop seeing her." A short silence followed. "Stop seeing her?" I said. "Yes," Nikki firmly said. "Nikki, I can't do that," I said, "We've been through so much together." "Oh, so she means more to you than I do, does she?" snapped Nikki. "I didn't say that," I said. "Look, Luke," snapped Nikki, "You've got a choice. Stop seeing Naomi and you can be my boyfriend, or you can be friends with Naomi and stop being my boyfriend. It's up to you." Nikki went to shut the door, but I again stopped her "Nikki, come on," I said, "Be reasonable." "Reasonable!?" Nikki loudly exclaimed, "Are you serious!? I think I'm being VERY reasonable under the circumstances? You just sit there whilst I'm being insulted and threatened, you don't tell me ANYTHING about you kissing Naomi and lusting after her, and I have to sit there and find out the way I did causing me huge embarrassment, and then I find you having a moment with her in the kitchen, and you wonder why I might have trouble trusting you!?" "It wasn't a moment," I said. "You said it was a moment," snapped Nikki, "Those were your exact words. I should have slapped you across the face right there and then. Under the circumstances I think I'm behaving VERY reasonably." "Nikki, please," I said, "I can't make a decision like that." "Well, I'm sorry Luke," said Nikki, "But your actions have consequences. You've brought this on yourself." Nikki went to the shut the door but I once again tried to stop her. "No, please Nikki," I said, "We need to talk some more about this." "Luke, go away," snapped Nikki, "You need to think about who you want more. Me or Naomi?" "You!" I loudly said, "I want you. Please, let me in so we can talk." "Luke, get lost!" snapped Nikki. SLAM! Nikki aggressively pushed the door forward, not realising my arm was in the gap and I yelled out in agony as the front door slammed hard against my arm, painfully and violently squashing it between the door and the frame. I fell to the floor, winced in pain and clutched my arm in a desperate attempt to try and ease the throbbing. "Oh, please," said Nikki, looking down at me like I was some sort of pitiful mess, "A real man wouldn't be on the floor crying like a baby. Go home, sort your head out and I'll be waiting for a full apology and a decision. Me or Naomi." Nikki then slammed the door, I composed myself and clutching my throbbing arm I walked home.

I'm at home in my bedroom now and I feel really confused. Part of me can't help but wonder what I have done wrong, but another part of me thinks I have been so stupid and selfish, and that I should have considered how Nikki might feel being in the same room as Naomi, but then again the only thing that's ever happened between me and Naomi is a kiss. Oh, I don't know. My head's a mess, and my arm is really hurting. It's all red and raised and I can see a bruise starting to appear. One thing is for sure, I will definitely be having a word with Trudy and TJ; not to mention Mike!