Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1049: Sunday 11th August 2019

Entry 1049
Sunday 11th August 2019

Tinsley made an announcement to the whole island today. It was his usual shouty, aggressive sh*t but it ended on a rather intriguing note.

Nikki and I were getting ready to go for a walk on the beach when the island's public address system pinged. "Here he is," I said to Nikki, "That psycho ex of yours. Let's hear what he's got to say for himself this time." Nikki and I stood on our front doorstep and waited for Tinsley's voice to appear. Natasha appeared on her front door. "You OK?" I asked. Natasha smiled and nodded at me. I noticed Nikki giving me a very stern look, clearly suggesting that she wasn't happy that I was talking to Natasha and that she was smiling to me. Tinsley's voice then appeared. "This is Acting Commander Richard Tinsley," the harsh sounding bully announced, "This is a message to the thieving pieces of scum who have stolen some of the island's livestock. Yes, that's correct, you heard me right. A person, or people have stolen some of the livestock from a facility in Cowes. We already have a shortage of livestock, which is why Commander Blade is now on the mainland, so imagine my disappointment when I discovered that some of our cows have been stolen. That's right. Stolen. Someone on this island has stolen two cows which are used as part of our livestock supply to help create milk, beef and other foods. Let me make this clear. I will find out who has stolen these cows, so if you're hearing this, if you can hear my voice right now and you're the ones who have stolen these cows, start sh*tting yourself, because I am going to find you, and you are going to rue the day you stole those cows and p*ssed me off. Anyone... ANYONE... Caught stealing on this island... ANYONE who I find has broken my rules, is going to very seriously get f*cked with. I WILL NOT BE UNDERMINED BY ANYONE ON THIS ISLAND!!! SO HERE'S A MESSAGE TO YOU F*CKING COW THIEVES! START SAYING YOUR PRAYERS!" Tinsley then turned off the public announcement system. I turned and looked at Nikki. "I can't believe you were in a relationship with him," I said. "Are you coming inside?" asked Nikki. "I turned and looked at Natasha. She looked at me like she wanted to have a chat with me. Nikki saw this and didn't look happy. "Luke?" she snapped. "Err... Yeah," I said. "Are you coming in?" Nikki firmly asked. The undertone of her question sounded like she was telling me to get inside. She clearly wasn't happy that I was on the brink of having a chat with Natasha. I told Natasha I'd see her at work tomorrow, and I went inside.

When I walked into the living room, I could see that Nikki clearly wasn't happy. I was expecting an argument but she didn't say anything. She said she was going to go upstairs and have a bath. I was disappointed that we abandoned our walk on the beach, but I was glad that an argument didn't follow. Maybe this counselling she is having, really IS working.

As Nikki went for a bath I went to Cowes and had a catch up and a cuppa with Mum, Mike and Sci-Fi Cyn at Sails Café. It was nice to spend time with Leo, and I spoke to Mum, Cyn and Mike about Tinsley's announcement. "He'll find whoever has stolen those cows," said a worried Sci-Fi Cyn. "Yeah, but why would anyone want to steal cows?" asked Mum. "Maybe they were worried," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Worried that we are going to run out of livestock, so they've stolen the cows." "Yeah, but what are they going to do with a cow?" I asked, "I doubt anyone on this island knows how to chop up a cow and turn it into beef." "I do," said Mike. "Yeah, but you're kind of special Mike," I said. "Aaaaw, thanks, babes," said Mike. "I hope you've got rid of Maureen the cow," I said, "If Tinsley finds out you've got it, he'll hit the roof." "Maureen left days ago," said Mike, "I do miss her." "Well, it's a good job you don't have that cow," aid Sci-Fi Cyn, "God knows what Tinsley is going to do to the thieves when he finds them." "You don't know for certain that he'll find them," I said. "Oh, he'll find them," said Cyn, "He's determined."

I have no idea who could have stolen the cows. I suppose it could have been anyone. I just hope it's not someone I know. Sci-Fi Cyn looked really scared when she was talking about Tinsley finding the cow thieves. My priority is still to stay out of the mad man's way.