Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1054: Friday 16th August 2019

Entry 1054
Friday 16th August 2019

Well, something happened today that I absolutely did not see coming!

I was at work doing my usual mundane jobs; sweeping the walkways, wiping down surfaces and cleaning the courtyard when I saw Natasha walking towards the monitoring station. It looked like some of the GRID soldiers were laughing at her and giving her some grief. She didn't look very happy so I followed her into the monitoring station and walked into the staff room where she was boiling the kettle. I stood in the doorway and looked over at Natasha who had her back to me and was leaning against the worktop as she sighed and pressed her hands against her head, indicating that she was stressed. "You OK?" I gently asked. Natasha lowered her head, started sniffing and then burst into tears. I closed the staff room and walked over to her. "Hey, come on," I said, as I awkwardly put my hand on Natasha's shoulder in an attempt to provide her with some comfort, "It's OK." Natasha flung her arms around me, gave me a huge hug and clung on to me for dear life. I was a bit taken aback. I wasn't sure what to do at first as this felt really weird, but as she was so upset, I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a hug. "No, Luke," sobbed Natasha, "It's not OK. It's a world away from being OK. I don't have any authority around here. I'm a laughing stock. Tinsley's seen to that. No one respects me." "Is this because the soldiers are taking the p*ss?" I asked, "Just ignore them, you know what d*ckheads they are." "I just don't know what the point is anymore?" said Natasha as she took a step back and wiped away her tears, "I mean, if Tinsley can come in here whenever he wants and kill infected and execute people, then what's the point in me? What's the point in what I'm trying to achieve?" "Blade will come back soon," I said. "Oh, Luke, come on," said Natasha, "I know you're trying to make me feel better, but do you really think Blade will be back here?", "He can look after himself," I said. "Tinsley's been in charge around here for a nearly a month," said Natasha, "Does it take three weeks to go over to the mainland, find some cows and bring them back? We need to be realistic. Blade might not come back, which mean we could be stuck with Tinsley." "OK," I said, "Blade and the soldiers could have come across some trouble over on the mainland, but if anyone can handle it, it's Blade. Trust me he's got good reason to come back to this island." "What do you mean?" asked Natasha. "It doesn't matter," I said, "I just know that he WILL want to come back here, and that he'll do whatever he has to, to make it happen." "Luke, even if Blade is still alive and he does manage to get back here, do you really think Tinsley's just going to hand control back over to Blade, just like that?" asked Natasha. "Blade, doesn't take sh*t from people," I said. "Neither does Tinsley," said Natasha, "You know, maybe I should just go get a job working in a shop." "That's not like you," I said, "We might have different beliefs but I always respected your passion, kind of. Don't let Tinsley bully you. I know he's intimidating, but you're pretty assertive and feisty. I've seen you set your sights on something and put all your energy into getting it. That's pretty impressive. I think..." I was half way through my sentence when all of a sudden Natasha leaned in and gave me a kiss on the lips. This completely took me by surprise. I can honestly say I was NOT expecting that. I didn't linger and I didn't encourage it. I quickly jumped back, and gave Natasha and horrified look. "What are you doing?" I exclaimed. "Oh God," said Natasha, as she pressed the palms of her hands against her forehead in a stressful manner, "What am I doing!?" "I was just trying to be nice and supportive," I said, "I didn't want to kiss you. I wasn't leading you on, you know?" "I know, I know," said Natasha, wincing and trying to hide her embarrassment, "I'm so sorry. God, what is wrong with me? A man says something nice and I throw myself at him. Luke, I'm really sorry. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I'm going to go home. I need to sort my head out. I'm so sorry. Really. I'm so, so sorry." Natasha then quickly left the staff room, leaving me feeling rather gobsmacked, and if I'm honest, a bit like a stud...

When I arrived home, I was in two minds whether to tell Nikki about Natasha kissing me. Would she kick off and throw me out of the window, or would she show some rational thinking and good restraint? I went back and forth in my head thinking about what to do, but in the end, I decided honesty was the best policy. I walked into the kitchen where Nikki was chopping up some carrots. She saw the tense look on my face and asked what was wrong. "Natasha kissed me," I said. I just blurted it out. I didn't think. I just said it. "You what?" said Niki, frowning with confusion. "She was in the staff room, I asked her if she was OK, she started crying, she threw her arms around me, she cried some more and I said some stuff to cheer her up and then she just kissed me," I quickly said, "I pulled away, I told her I was just being nice and that I didn't want to lead her on and she got really embarrassed and left. There. I've told you. I'm being honest. What do you think?" Nikki froze to the spot looking me right in the eye. I also noticed that she was firmly holding the sharp knife that she'd been using to chop the carrot with, in her right hand. I noticed that her grip was getting tighter. "Did I do the right thing in telling you?" I asked. Nikki closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You didn't kiss her back?" asked Nikki in a calm yet unsettling tone. "No," I said, "Absolutely not. I pulled away. I told her she was out of order." "But what did you say that made her think it was OK to kiss you?" Nikki asked in a scary tone of voice. "I just said that even though we have different views on infected I admired her passion and that she's behaved in a very impressive manner," I said. Nikki's anger was plastered all over her face and it was intensifying. "I didn't say it because I wanted her to kiss me," I said, "I was just being nice. I wish I hadn't bothered. I pulled back. I told her it wasn't on. Would you have preferred it if I hadn't told you?" A tense silence lingered. Nikki closed her eyes and made another deep breath but this was more calming, as if she was trying to relax. "You know what, Luke?" said Nikki, "I'm really glad that you've been honest with me. If you being nice to Natasha makes her throw herself at you, then that clearly says a lot more about her than it does about you. Don't worry about it. Now go and get ready for tea." I was VERY impressed with Nikki's calm and non-violent response. Not what I was expecting at all. In fact, I was expecting a full-blown argument. This counselling she is having is REALLY working. However, saying that I did notice that she returned to chopping the carrots up with A LOT more vigour compared to when I walked into the kitchen. Hey ho! I'd rather she took her anger out on the carrots than on me.

Nikki and I had a nice meal, and even though she looked a bit p*ssed off and didn't talk as much as she usually does, she wasn't shouting, screaming or getting violent. Tomorrow she's going to come with me to Cowes to see Leo. We've had a good chat about it, and as long as she sticks to her promise to be civil and polite, and as long as Mum, Cyn and Mike stick to their promise to be civil and polite, the whole thing should go off without a problem.