Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1143: Wednesday 13th November 2019

Entry 1143
Wednesday 13th November 2019

I'm back at home.

Later in the morning, after being told my test results were clear, I was released for quarantine along with Michael and Naomi. I gave Naomi a big hug and a kiss. The three of us were being escorted down the corridor from the quarantine area to the GRID HQ reception area. "Where's Mia and Harold?" I asked the GRID soldiers that was escorting us to reception. "They left about half an hour ago," said the soldier. "They didn't wait for us?" I asked, as I turned to Naomi, "They didn't wait for us?" "What's going on with Harold?" I asked the GRID soldier, "Where is he? Is he back in prison? What's going on?" The GRID soldier didn't respond. I looked at Naomi and rolled my eyes and shook my head in despair.

The three of us were escorted back into the reception area where Ash, Sophie, Mum, and Leo were waiting for us. It was so nice to see them. Naomi ran straight to Sophie, and I ran straight to Leo and we all exchanged hugs and kisses. A tear ran down my cheek, as I felt such extreme happiness touching Leo's soft skin and smelling his gorgeous head of hair. "Oh, hello little man," I said, as I kissed his forehead," I have missed you so much." "Oh, sausage," said Mum, giving me a kiss, "I'm so glad you're OK. Mind you, you look a bit different. Have you put weight on?" "No," I bluntly said. "Has the staining on your teeth gotten worse?" asked Mum. "No," I firmly said. "Have you got more nose hair than usual?" asked Mum. "No," I said. "More grey hair on top?" asked Mum. "No," I said. "Less hair on top?" asked Mum. "No!" I loudly snaped starting to get angry. "Deeper crows' feet round your eyes?" asked Mum. "No!" I again angrily snapped. "Oh, I know what it is," said Mum, "You've grown a third chin haven't you? I can just about see it. That's what it is isn't it?" "No, it f*cking isn't!" I snapped. "I only have one chin. Not two, not three. One!" "Oooh, I don't know, sausage," said Mum, poking at my chin, "I'm sure there's three there." "For God's sake," I snapped, "Why don't you just throw sh*t at me and be done with it. I've just been through a trauma and you're picking at my faults." "Not all of them," said Mum, "Just a handful." "What the Hell happened?" asked Ash, "GRID told us that you ended up being smuggled off to the mainland in a shipping container." "Yeah, it's been a crazy couple of days," I said. "We're just glad to be back," said Naomi. "How did you survive?" asked Ash, "One of the GRID soldiers said you were with Harold Endo, and that you ended up in a northern seaside town. People were saying that you helped Harold Endo escape from prison." "That's not what happened," said Naomi. "Well, what did happen?" asked Ash. "It's a bit of a long story," said Naomi. "And it's not over yet," I said. "Everyone's been really worried," said Ash, "They're all round yours with your Auntie Meryl. They're all dying to see you." "Let's go then," I said, "It's a long story and I'd rather tell everyone at once rather than having to keep going over it." "Who is this?" Mum asked, noticing Michael, shaking his hand, and giving him a seductive look. "I'm Michael," he said, "I met Naomi and Luke when I was in Whitby with Mia." "Mia?" said Ash, "Harold's Mia?" "Yeah..." I said. "What are you on about?" asked Mum, "Mia died." "Like I said," I said, "Long story."

We all arrived back at my house where Auntie Meryl was waiting with everyone else, and I mean everyone. They were all there, TJ, Mike, Trudy, Primark, Sci-Fi Cyn, Roz, Madeleine, and Richard. As soon as we walked into the living room everyone cheered and we all exchanged hugs, kisses, and various embraces. It was nice to be back home and nice to see everyone. I gave Auntie Meryl a kiss and told her I missed her. "Where the bl**dy Hell have you been?" she asked. "Whitby," I said. "Whitby!?" exclaimed Auntie Meryl, "You didn't even send a postcard. Have you brough me back a stick of rock?" "Oh, God, Auntie Meryl," I said, "I've missed you." Naomi and I introduced Michael to everyone, and we wasted no time and told everyone about what happened. "You were going to have sex in the back of a shipping container?" asked Trudy, "You dirty b*stards." "Really?" I said, pointing at TJ, "Coming from a woman who shagged this pr*ck up against a high school sink?" "And it was the best shag of her life," chucked TJ. "Anyway," said Naomi, "someone in a sack got chucked in the back of a container, and then a gas cannister was thrown in and we were knocked out. When we woke up, we found out that we were being taken to Whitby and that the man in the sack was Harold Endo." "What were you playing at?" Auntie Meryl asked me. "What do you mean?" I asked, "I didn't chuck Harold in the container and gas us." "No, I'm on about going to Whitby," said Auntie Meryl, "You should have gone to Blackpool. It's got a better beach." "I don't like Blackpool," said Richard glumly, "A seagull stole my ice-cream. Mind you I don't like Whitby either. I got my show caught in the swing bridge when it was opening to let a ferry through." "Oh, listen to him," giggled Madeline," He should have been a comedian. He cracks me up." "Auntie Meryl," I said, "It wasn't like me, and Naomi were going out on a day trip." "But you went to Whitby," said Auntie Meryl. "Not on a day out!" I exclaimed, "We were kidnaped. Well, sort of." "What do you mean you were SORT OF kidnapped?" asked Ash. "It was Jon Blade," said Naomi, "He broke Endo out of prison and chucked him into the container and took him to Whitby where he had a base set up. He didn't realise that me and Luke were in the container until we got to Whitby." "Blade!?" gasped Roz, "He's alive!?" "Hang on," said Ash, "Why would Jon Blade break Endo out of prison and take him to Whitby?" "Especially when Blackpool do a cracking donkey ride," said Auntie Meryl. "He didn't want to," I said, "But he had to. Seth made him do it." "Seth?" said Ash, "Who's Seth?" "My ex, Seth," said Naomi. "But he went missing down the sewer," said Roz. "Yeah," said Naomi, "And he turned up in Whitby with Mia." "Mia!" gasped Trudy, "OUR Mia?" "Yeah," I said, nodding. "But you said she was dead," said Trudy, "You and Cyn said you saw her throw herself off a roof." "We did," I said," But she landed on some mattresses. When I looked down, I didn't see the mattresses, but I did see the infected eating loads of flesh. Turns out it was a dog. Mia hid behind the bin but by the time she got back up on the roof me and Cyn had gone." "So, all this time we thought Mia was dead, she was alive?" said TJ. "Her and Seth found each other," I said. "But how did they end up in Whitby?" asked Mike, "Why didn't they come back here?" "They wanted to," I said, "But they were both injured, and then they got kidnapped by a group of nutters who were going to trade them with another group of nutters for some water. They got free and they ended up in Whitby." "That's when me and my group found them," said Michael. "But by this point Mia and Seth had fallen in love with each other and Mia was pregnant with Seth's baby." "SH*T THE BED!" Trudy exclaimed, "This is some proper Jeremy Kyle sh*te." "But where's Mia and Seth now?" asked Ash. "And we still don't know why Blade broke Harold Endo out of prison," said Roz. "Mia had that weird E7 virus in her," I said, "Her being pregnant meant that the virus wouldn't make her infected but could make her baby infected. As luck would have it that's when Blade and his soldiers turned up." "Seth asked Blade to come back to the island to break Endo out prison and bring him to Whitby so he could help delivering Mia's baby" said Michael, "Blade refused to help so Seth held Blade's men hostage and told him that he'd only release them if Blade came back here, got Endo and brought him to Whitby." "That's when Blade broke Endo out of prison and we accidentally ended up getting taken too," said Naomi. "This doesn't sound like Seth," said TJ, "He was a goody two shoes." "Yeah, well he'd do anything to protect the woman he loved and his unborn child," said Michael. "Bl**dy Hell She-Ra," TJ said to Naomi," Your ex shacked up with Legally Blonde. That's a kick in the m*nge." "TJ, shut up and stop stirring sh*t," said Naomi, "I'm with Luke now. Not Seth." "OK," said Ash, "So what happened? Did Endo help Mia give birth?" "Yeah," said Naomi, "The baby nearly died but Endo brought it back to life." "But the baby's infected," I said. "Mia gave birth to an infected baby?" gasped Roz. "Yeah," I said, "All very traumatic." "That's when it all kicked off," said Michael, "Blade appeared, shot and killed my mate Joan and kidnapped Mia's baby." "Sorry?" said Roz, shaking her head, "I'm getting completely lost here. Why would Blade want to do any of this?" "Just before Mia went into labour, he found out that his men – the men who Seth was holding hostage, has escaped, but as they escaped the infected got them and they all joined the undead," I said, "Blade blamed Seth so he was going to shoot him." "But the baby got to Seth before Blade did," said Michael. "Got to him?" said Trudy, "What does that mean?" "The baby sneezed, and the snot went in Seth's eyes," said Naomi, "Seth became infected. I had to kill him." "Seth's dead?" asked TJ. Naomi nodded. "But something weird happened before Naomi killed Seth," I said, "Blade had hold of the baby, and Seth looked over at his infected daughter and he didn't attack. He just stood there looking at the baby like he was really curious." "He didn't attack?" asked Mike. "Well, after a few seconds he did," I said, "But for a good ten seconds he just stood there looking at the baby." "F*ck me," said Trudy, "That's weird." "I know," I said, "Endo thinks the baby can be used to develop some sort of vaccine to try and control the infected." "Sorry?" said Roz, struggling to keep up, "Whilst all of this is very dramatic, why would Blade kidnap the baby?" "He blamed Seth for his men being killed," said Naomi, "He was going to kill Seth, but like we've said, the baby killed Seth first. Blade kidnapped the baby and said he'd give it back in exchange for Endo developing a cure and giving it to him." "Why would Blade do this?" asked Roz. "Because he's lost the plot," said Naomi, "He thinks if Endo creates a cure and gives it to him, he can use to take command of the island again," I said, pulling the test tube with the fake cure inside it. "What's that?" asked Mike. "It's a test tube with some liquid in it," I said, "Harold gave it to me. The plan is that I go out and about and wait for Blade to approach me. That's when I tell him he'll get the cure in exchange for giving me the baby. Then we arrange a time to make the exchange, but I won't be the only one there. Tinsley and his men will be there." "So, Blade's somewhere on the island with the baby?" said Mum, "Is that what you're saying?" "Yes," I nodded, "But you lot need to keep this to yourself." "This sh*t is well and truly off the shovel," said Trudy. "So, let me make sure I've got this right," said Ash, "You need to be walking around the island hoping that Blade will find you so you can talk to him and arrange a time and place for you to give him this fake cure, and for him to give you Mia's baby but Blade won't know that Tinsley and the GRID lot will be there to chuck him in prison? Is that right?" "More or less," I said. "Well, what a perfect plan," Ash sarcastically said, "I mean what can go wrong?" "It's not my plan," I bluntly said, "This is all Tinsley." "Where's Mia now?" asked Trudy. "I don't know," I said, "She left GRID HQ with Harold about half an hour before we did." "WITH Harold?" said Trudy, "I thought she hated him." "Since Harold saved her daughter, she'd got close to him," said Naomi. "Why isn't Endo back in prison?" asked TJ. "Because he's told Tinsley that if he keeps him out of prison, he'll work with GRID scientists to do tests on Mia's baby to create a vaccine that can control the infected and maybe even develop a cure." "Christ," said Ash, "Tinsley hasn't fallen for that has he? All Harold does is lie?" "That's true," said Mum, "When we used to work with him it was hard to tell when he was lying or telling the truth." "Yeah, well, I think Tinsley has fallen for it," I said. "So, we don't know where Mia and Harold are now?" asked Trudy. "No," I said, "I don't know where they are."