Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1089: Friday 20th September 2019

Entry 1089
Friday 20th September 2019

Today has been one of the best days of my life!

What started out as a rather awkward, uncomfortable, tense, and humiliating day ended up being one of the happiest days ever. I am so ecstatic right now I feel like I could jump over the moon!

The day started when I woke up, got ready for work, and walked into the living room where Nikki was sat with a moody look on her face. "There's no point in looking like that," I firmly said, "We need to talk about stuff, and we need to try and do it without fighting." "You practically accused me of making the pregnancy up," snapped Nikki, "You might as well have just called me a liar." "Oh, I'm so out of order, aren't I?" I sarcastically said, "I mean, it's not like you've lied before have you...? Oh no, sorry my mistake. You're the biggest f*cking liar on the island. You put f*cking Pinocchio in the shade." "I wouldn't lie about having a baby, Luke," snapped Nikki. "You've been avoiding my questions and getting all defensive whenever I ask you about the baby," I said. "Luke, I showed you a scan picture AND the positive pregnancy test," snapped Nikki, "How can you think I'm lying?" "I've just told you," I said, "Your cagey behaviour is making me suspicious. I wouldn't put anything past you. Look, I've got to go to work, but if you really are pregnant, then based on my reckoning you'll be due a scan soon? Yeah?" "Well, yeah," said Nikki, "I suppose." "Right then," I firmly said, "Get in touch with someone at GRID, try and get in touch with the hospital and find put when they want to see you for your scan. I'll come home when I get back from Cowes, you tell me when the scan is, and I'll book the day off work and come with you. Yeah?" "Fine," snapped Nikki, "But I want you to apologise to me when you find out I'm not lying." "Just get the appointment started," I said. "I'm going out later on," said Nikki, "What am I likely to come home to? You in the buff being given a blowjob by a pensioner?" "Angela isn't a pensioner," I snapped, "And if I wanted to bring a pensioner back here to suck me off, that's my choice, and it's none of your bl**dy business. Anyway, I've explained all that. I'm not explaining it all again. Just get that appointment sorted out." I then put my coat on and left for work.

After work, Gary was once again kind enough to give me a lift into Cowes where I met Mum, Mike, and Sci-Fi Cyn at Sails Café. We had our usual chat over a cuppa, I spent some lovely time with Leo, and I told them about me telling Nikki I wanted to go to the hospital with her to see her have a scan. "It's a good job all this is happening where there's a fully functional hospital," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Imagine if this has have happened back on the mainland." "It wouldn't have happened at all if my little sausage had of wrapped his littler sausage in clingfilm," said Mum. "What are you going to do if you find out she's not pregnant?" asked Mike. "Well, I won't be happy," I said. "Won't be happy!?" exclaimed Mum, "I'd hit the frigging roof." "I'd hit her," said Mike. "OK," I said. "With a breezeblock," continued Mike. "OK, Mike," I said. "Wrapped in barbed wire," continued Mike. "Yeah, OK, Mike," I explained, "I get the picture. To be honest. I think she IS pregnant. I just hope going to the hospital together will get her to talk to me about baby stuff, instead avoiding the subject. I think she's still in a mood after what she saw yesterday." "What do you mean?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn.  "Angela came round to talk to me about me posing naked for this art class thing," I said, "She made me take my clothes off and try out different poses. She was on her knees in front of me just as Nikki walked in, so she jumped to the wrong conclusion." "Bl**dy Hell, Luke," said Sci-Fi Cyn rolling her eyes. "You're a daft sod," said Mum. "Look, it's not my fault the stupid b*tch jumped to the wrong conclusion, "I snapped. "Well, to be fair to Nikki, I can understand why she might jump to certain conclusions," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Just tell her to f*ck off," said Mike. "That's more or less what I did," I said. "It's none of her business if you want to get a pensioner to suck you off," said Mike. "She didn't suck me off!" I exclaimed. "Then why was she on her knees in front of your naked crotch?" asked Mum. "She was positioning my feet," I said. "Yeah, right," said Mum, "You must think I was born yesterday." "Not with those f*cking crow feet," I said, "Look, nothing was going on with me and Angela. To be honest I don't want to pose naked. I'm trying to come up with an excuse to get me out of it. I wish I hadn't of gotten myself into this bl**dy situation." "I thought you wanted to do it?" said