Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1082: Friday 13th September 2019

Entry 1082
Friday 13th September 2019

Oh. My. God. I woke up to something to that absolutely HORRIFIED me!

I was slowly waking up this morning when I felt a breeze across my shoulders. I tentatively opened my eyes, looked across my room and noticed that my window was wide open. I thought it was weird, because I was convinced that I'd closed it before I went to sleep... Well... I say 'closed'...I don't ever close the window fully, I always leave a small gap between the window frame and the actual window to let some air in... Anyway, I fully opened my eyes, saw that the window was open and thought, I'll get up in a minute and close it. I then turned over to face away from the window, and as my head hit the pillow I looked straight ahead and could not believe what was staring back at me. It was Minnie! Nikki's dead, smelly, decomposing cat, Minnie. "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!" I loudly yelled in horror, as I rapidly jumped out of bed and threw myself across the room. Consumed with terror, and with my heart racing, I propped myself up against the chest of drawers with terror plastered all over my face. I tried to compose myself as I started to regain control of my shallow breathing. I looked over at the mangled dead cat that had been strategically been placed in my pillow. It like something out of a horror film. Minnie was just laid there with a crusty abdomen, protruding bones and a gooey fleshy mess that was once her face. It was disgusting. I then looked towards the window and noticed something. Upon closer inspection I noticed that a huge ladder was placed up against the front of the house, leading up to my bedroom window. Unbelievable! I thought to myself. I wasn't just traumatised from looking eye to eye with Minnie's manky corpse, but I was astounded at the length's Nikki had gone to, to play her f*cked up mind games. Feeling furious, I unlocked my bedroom door, and as soon as I opened it, I came face to face with a smug looking Nikki. "Everything alright?" she said in a fake tone with an arrogant look on her face, "I heard some shouting." "You really are a twisted b*tch aren't you?" I snapped. "What do you mean?" said Nikki, sounding incredibly fake. With a frown on my face, I grabbed hold of Nikki's arm and aggressively yanked her into my bedroom. "That's what I mean!" I snapped, pointing at the dead cat on my pillow. "Oh my God," gasped Nikki, "That's Minnie isn't it?" "Of course, it's f*cking Minnie!" I loudly snapped. "Well, how did she get there?" gasped Nikki. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. "Are you serious!?" I said in shock, "Are you actually saying you've got nothing to do with this!?" "Me!?" gasped Nikki, "Why would this have anything to do with me?" "Because you're f*cked in the head," I snapped, "You know I lock my bedroom door at night, so you've got a ladder, climbed up, opened my window and plonked you dead b*stard cat next to me to scare the sh*t out of me. I mean what sort of MENTAL bat-sh*t crazy tw*t does that! What sort of person keeps their dead cat!? I mean what the actual F*CK is wrong with you?!" "This has nothing to do with me, Luke," said Nikki, with a big smile on her face, "You're sounding like a paranoid maniac." "Paranoid maniac!" I loudly gasped, "You've put your dead f*cking cat in my bed! Don't stand there with that big f*cking grin on your face and tell me this has got nothing to do with you. Jesus, you really are a f*cking psycho." "Nothing to do with me," Nikki, casually said. "Sorry?" I snapped, "Are you saying that a random stranger – who just happened to have the corpse of your f*cking cat, placed a ladder outside my window, climbed up it, got into my bedroom and placed the dead cat on my pillow before legging it and leaving the ladders here. Do you really think I'm THAT stupid?" "I don't think anything," said Nikki, casually shrugging her shoulder, "This has got nothing to do with me." "Right!" I loudly snapped "Right! I'm getting ready for work. When I come home, I expect that f*cking dead cat to be gone, because if it isn't, this house might have another corpse it in, and it won't be mine!"

Gary gave me a lift to work, and all I did during the journey was rant and rave to Gary about what I'd woken up to. "She's crazy!" I exclaimed in outrage, "I mean, she's literally crazy!" "Look, Chuckles," said Gary, "This is none of my business, but I don't think you're safe in that house. I know she's pregnant with your kid, but come on... There are limits to what you've got to put up with? You can kip on my sofa for a few days if you want?" "I might take you up on that," I said. "Well, I mean it," said Gary, "I'm worried about you, pal. If you don't want my sofa, I think you should think about moving someone else in or you moving out. Just because she's pregnant, it doesn't mean you have to live with her." "Yeah, I know," I said, "But I don't want to miss anything." "Like what?" said Gary, "Getting plates thrown at you and waking up with a dead cat in your bed. I think you can afford to miss that sort of stuff?" "I'm on about things like the baby kicking," I said. "Yes, but come on, Chuckles," said Gary, "You work three days a week at The Hive. The baby could kick then." "Exactly," I said, "So I want to spend as much time as I can in the house with Nikki. I work three days a week and then I go to Cowes every now and then, so if I spend any more time away, I'm going to miss out on all the baby stuff." "But Chuckles," said Gary, "You're missing out on all the baby stuff right now. You're not talking about baby stuff and doing baby stuff. You haven't spoken about names or made any plans or bought any baby stuff. What's the point in enduring all this stress if you're not getting anything good out of it? You can be a good Dad without living with the Mum." I thought about what Gary said. He made a good and poignant pout but I was still adamant that I needed to live with Nikki, however I decided to try and call Nikki's bluff. After my shift at The Hive I went into Sandown, bought a few things and returned home ready to confront Nikki.

When I walked into the house, Nikki was stood in the kitchen making some tea. "Right then," I said, confidently walking into the kitchen. "Luke..." said Nikki. "No," I firmly said, interrupting Nikki, "I'm talking. You're listening. Now your mental behaviour stops. Right now. This second. Right now. I mean it. I've had enough. Now, I've been into Sandown, and I've bought a lock for window. I've bought some toiletries and I'll be keeping them in my room, and I've got a few basic provisions and I'll be keeping them in my room too. If you try and throw anything at me, or start chucking things around, or put dead pets in my bedroom, I am going to move out." "Move out?" said Nikki, "You won't move out, you want to be here whilst I'm pregnant." "I don't know if I do," I said, "Not when it's like this. If our kid ever asks why I wasn't around when you were pregnant, I'll just have to tell Luke Junior that his Mum was a f*cking psycho who put dead cats in my bed. Anyway, Gary has said I can stay in his sofa, and he only lives down the road, so if you keep acting like this, I'm going to walk, and if you keep acting like a nutter, I'll do all I can to get you locked up. Now belt up, or else." Nikki did not look happy. In fact, she looked quite furious. My confident confrontation had really gotten to her, but I don't care. She's a complete arsehole who needs telling. "Oh," I said, "By the way, before I forget. Ash is coming round tomorrow for a few drinks. Be out, or be upstairs but don't be a pain." I left Nikki in the kitchen looking angry and I went off upstairs and attached the lock that I had just bought to my bedroom window.

I can't believe that Nikki saved her cat's dead body and then broke into my bedroom and put it on my pillow whilst I was asleep. She really is an absolute psycho. I can't believe she's having my baby! I keep thinking about what life is going to be like. That crazy bint is going to be the mother of my child. I'm looking forward to Ash coming round tomorrow for a catch up and a few drinks. I need something to help me relax. I just hope Nikki doesn't ruin it.