Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1106: Monday 7th October 2019

Entry 1106
Monday 7th October 2019

It's been a nice quiet day, which after the all the chaotic goings on over the last few days, has been a nice change.

Me and Naomi took Leo and Sophie for a walk on the beach today and as we were enjoying our stroll, I couldn't stop thinking how I'd lied to Naomi yesterday about how Nikki really died. We continued making our way along Cowes Beach with Naomi being all supportive and offering me words of comfort after what happened. I just couldn't keep it in. By saying nothing, I felt like I was lying to her. "OK," I anxiously said, "That's it. I can't do this. I have to tell you something." "Oh God," said Naomi, looking all worried, "What is it? Has something else happened? Is there something you're not telling me?" "Well, we said we wouldn't keep secrets from each other, didn't we?" I said. "Yes..." Naomi tentatively and apprehensively said. "Well, it's about what happened with Nikki," I said. "I guessed it was," said Naomi. "OK," I said, "You've got to promise me you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you." "God, Luke," said a frustrated Naomi, "Don't you trust me?" "Of course, I do," I said, "That's why I'm about to tell you what I'm about to tell you." "Luke, you don't need to ask me to keep things to myself," said Naomi, "It's a given. It goes without saying. You can tell me anything." "Nikki didn't fall, I pushed her," I quickly said, blurting it out without thinking. "Oh," said Naomi. She stopped and looked like she was thinking about what I had just said. "So... She didn't fall, hit her head, and die?" asked Naomi, "You pushed her, and she hit her head and died?" "Yeah, but it was an accident" I exclaimed, "I didn't do it on purpose! She'd hidden the turkey baster thing behind the toilet. I didn't know it was the turkey baster and I wanted to know what it was, but she wouldn't let me get to it. She wouldn't let me get past her. I shoved her, but I didn't realise that I shoved her that hard. I picked up the turkey baster, realised what was going on and when I looked at Nikki, she was laid face down on the bathroom floor. I thought she was faking it. You know what she used to be like. I thought she was playing the victim. The next thing I knew she was all infected and running at me." "And that's when you stabbed her in the head?" asked Naomi. "It's when Sci-Fi Cyn threw a knife at her and it stabbed her in the head," I said. "Sci-Fi Cyn?" asked a confused Naomi, "What are you on about? She wasn't there." "She was," I said, "She came round to see if I was OK because I wasn't well and I had a go at her in Cowes the day before. She told me to duck, made some sort of weird sci-fi comment and chuck the knife at Nikki's head." "Hang on a minute," said a confused Naomi, "You, told Tinsley that you were on your own. Why didn't you tell him that Cyn was there?" "Because we'd have both been put in quarantine," I said, "And I didn't want that. I wanted Cyn to be the one to be there when I was in quarantine. I wanted her to do the tests. I wanted to see a friendly face in quarantine." "But Cyn should have been put in quarantine," said Naomi, "She works for GRID. She knows what's meant to happen." "Well, she thinks the quarantine process is pointless if you haven't come into close contact with the infected," I said, "Anyway, never mind that. I killed Nikki!" "Why didn't you just tell me the truth?" asked Naomi. "Cyn thought it would be best if I keep it to myself," I said, "I didn't want to risk the truth getting back to Tinsley." "So, telling me is a risk, is it?" asked an offended Naomi. "Oh, don't be like that," I said, "I wasn't thinking straight. My head was all over the place. If Tinsley finds out that I pushed Nikki, he might chuck me in The Isle of Wight Prison, or worse... feed me to the infected in The Hive." "Luke," said Naomi, "One, I would ever tell anyone, especially Tinsley, anything that could result in you being locked up or chucked in the Hive. You should know that. Two, I honestly think if you'd have told Tinsley the truth right from the start, he probably wouldn't have given a toss. He doesn't care about Nikki. He doesn't care about anyone. If you'd have told him that you pushed her and that it was all an accident, I don't think he would have put you in prison, or fed you to the infected." "I'm not so sure," I said, "He was pretty intimidating to me yesterday." "Well, you've lied to him now," said Naomi, "You're in too deep." "Naomi," I said, "Tinsley threw two guys into the Hive and watched with a smirk on his face as the infected ate them and ripped them apart, and that was for stealing! What do you think he'd do to me if he finds out I killed Nikki?" "Shake your hand?" said Naomi. "No," I said, "He made it clear that he doesn't want anyone taking the p*ss out of his regime. He doesn't want anyone lying to him." "And you've lied to him!" exclaimed Naomi. "Are you seriously saying it would have been better if I'd have told him the truth?" I asked. "Oh, I don't know," said Naomi, throwing her hands in the air, "Maybe not. You didn't have to lie to me though. You should know me better than that. So should Cyn." "I didn't want you to think differently of me," I said, "I don't want you to think I'm some cold-hearted, evil killer." "Luke, it was an accident," said Naomi, "Anyway, you and I both know that we've done some pretty brutal stuff to people over on the mainland." "We're not on the mainland now," I said, "We can't just go around killing people. This is supposed to be civilisation." "Don't kid yourself," said Naomi, "This isn't civilisation. Tinsley's the boss. This is a dictatorship. You said it yourself, he threw two people into a pit of infected and watched as they got ripped apart. There's nothing civilised about that. That's why I'm not completely convinced he would have had a go at you for accidentally killing Nikki, because he goes around killing people, but ON PURPOSE. If he had thrown you into The Hive or into prison, he'd be a hypocrite. Anyway, it's Nikki who's dead. Me and you and this entire island are better off without her. It was an accident. Don't beat yourself up, but don't keep secrets form me yeah?" Naomi leaned in and gave me a kiss. I do feel better for getting it all off my chest, and it feels good not to be keeping secrets from Naomi.

After our walk on the beach, Naomi and I took the kids to Sails Café where we had a chat and a cuppa with Mike and Sci-Fi Cyn. Mike wrapped his arms around me and gave me one of his weird and inappropriately close hugs. "I was so worried about you, babes," said Mike, "no one told us what happened. There was a moment where I thought Nikki had killed you. What was it like when you saw her all infected? Did her eyes go all weird and freaky? I bet it felt good stabbing her in the head, didn't it? What did you do? Jam it right in between her eyes and push it into her brain. Did you feel it? Did you hear it squelch?" "Mike, not in front of the kids," said Naomi. "Anyway," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I'm sure Luke doesn't want to talk about what he did." I noticed Naomi giving Cyn a stern stare. "I'll see what cakes they've got," said Mike. He stood up and then went over to the counter. "Except it wasn't Luke that killed her, was it?" Naomi said to Sci-Fi Cyn. Cyn looked at Naomi with confusion. She then looked at the awkward look on my face. "Oh..." said Sci-Fi Cyn, "You told her." "Yes, he did tell me," Naomi quietly but angrily whispered to Sci-Fi Cyn making sure Mike couldn't hear, "You don't need to keep secrets from me. I can be trusted you know. I haven't told anyone about Tara being the one who really stopped the nukes, or about the two infected hidden below GRID HQ." "I just thought it would be best that as few people as possible know about what happened," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "From where I'm sitting it looks like Luke is taking the blame for what you did," said Naomi, "He's doing you a favour." "Oi. That's not fair," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I didn't end Nikki's human life. I ended her infected life, and I stopped your boyfriend from being killed and from facing the wrath of Tinsley who, if he knew the truth, might imprison him, or kill him. If anyone's doing anyone a favour around here, it's me doing Luke a favour." "Look, let's not argue," I said, "We can just keep this between the three of us. Nikki's dead and that's it. No one needs to know the details." At that moment mike returned with some cake. "Right then," he said with a big smile, placing the pieces of cake on the table, "Let's have the details. Are you glad she's dead? Was there much blood?" "Mike, give it a bl**dy rest," said Naomi.

After seeing Mike and Cyn, Naomi and I went round to Roz's flat and caught up with her. Naomi and Roz gave each other a hug but Roz and I had that awkward moment where we didn't know if we should hug or not, so we ended up giving each other a weird sort of a handshake. It was nice for Roz to see the kids and she played with them as I told her everything that happened with Nikki and all the associated drama. Obviously, I told her all the details in a way that took into account that Sophie and Leo were in earshot. After we had a good chat with Roz, Naomi and I left, and we went back round to mine where we spent a bit of time with Mum and Auntie Meryl. After Mum asking inappropriate and prying questions about mine and Naomi's sex life, and Auntie Meryl completing her crossword and wondering if librarian was another word for lesbian, Naomi left with Sophie, and I took Leo upstairs to bed.

I do feel a bit guilty for lying to Mum, Auntie Meryl, and the others, but for now I think it's for the best, and I do feel relieved telling Naomi the truth. There are enough secrets flying around here, too many in my opinion. I'm going to go and see Natasha tomorrow and tell her that I'm now living in Cowes and that I'll need to leave The Hive. I don't know what she'll think about it, or what Tinsley will think about it for that matter, but I can't keep travelling to the other side of the island now I'm living back with Mum and Auntie Meryl. Natasha has probably found out that Nikki's dead so not only will she probably give me a mouthful for not being at work and for wanting to leave, but she'll probably also have a go at me for Nikki being killed instead of being quarantined as an infected. I'll look forward to that...!

Whilst Mum's comments earlier were annoying and embarrassing, it has left me wondering if Naomi and I are ever going to have sex.