Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1001: Monday 24th June 2019

Entry 1001
Monday 24th June 2019

I'm going to kill this f*cking cat!

I got up this morning and after I'd finished in the bathroom, the vicious little b*stard came out of nowhere and jumped at me, scratching the side of my face. It gave a nasty high-pitched meow as I stumbled back, banged my elbow against the doorframe, and shouted loudly in fear. Once I'd calmed down, I looked at the cat who was now stood at the top of the landing looking over at me with a smug grin. I dabbed the blood from my scratch and scowled at the cat. "You little f*cker," I snapped. Nikki came running upstairs in a panic. "What is it?" she gasped, "What's happening?" "Your f*cking cat!" I YELLED, "That's what's happening." I pointed to the scratch on my face. "Look!" I loudly snapped, "I'll have no blood left at this rate." Nikki picked up Minnie and cuddled her. "Aaaaaaaw, poor Minnie," she said, "Well, what do you expect her to do if you go around shouting at her all the time?" "I'm shouting because she scratched me," I bluntly said, "She didn't scratch me because I shouted." "Oh, stop going on," said Nikki, "It's only a little scratch. Anyway, you'd better hurry up. Gary will be waiting for you." "Hang on," I said, "I'm going to Cowes once I finish work. Am I seeing Mike and Cyn or not?" "No," said Nikki in a firm voice, "You're not." "Nikki, come on," I said, "You're not being fair." "Luke, I'm making it simple for you," said Nikki with a firm voice, "It's me, or Mike and Cyn. You pick." "You're out of order," I angrily snapped, "You shouldn't make me choose between you and all my mates." "TWO of your mates," snapped Nikki, "After you failed to stop two of your mates from ruining our housewarming, and after Mike knew they were coming despite knowing I didn't want them here, and after you and Cyn lied and kept secrets from me, you are in no position to tell me I'm out of order. It's you who's out of order!" "I don't get why you're being like this," I said, "Mike and Cyn never have to come round here. You never have to see them again. Isn't that good enough?" "No, it's not," snapped Nikki, "They're clearly a bad influence on you, so I don't want you seeing them again. Why is this difficult for you to grasp?" "They won't be a bad influence on me," I said, "I'll talk to them." "Luke, why are we still talking about this?" snapped Nikki, "If you still want to see Mike and Cyn, then that's fine. Me and you split up, and you can see your weird little nasty friends. That weird sci-fi freak and that nutter that looks like he escaped from the lunatic asylum." "God, it's like you want me to have no friends at all," I snapped. "Oh, Luke, don't be ridiculous," said Nikki, "I want you to have friends. Of course, I want you to have friends." "Just the friends that you approve of?" I bluntly said, "Why don't you just make all my decisions for me?" "Well, considering your decision-making skills leave a lot to be desired recently, I think me making decisions for you about your friends might not be a bad thing. Anyway, it's not like you have no friends. You can go to Cowes and see your Mum. You can see Roz and Richard and Madeline... And you've got Gary here in Cowes. Look, go see Mike and Cyn after work. Tell them that you don't want to see them anymore. Say your goodbyes and then come back home. I'm letting you say goodbye. It's not all bad. I'm not a totally heartless b*tch you know? I should be after the way you treated me at the housewarming. Now come on. Get to work."

I felt really angry with Nikki, but I also felt angry at myself. I hadn't helped the situation by keeping it a secret that Trudy and TJ were in the kitchen, and I suppose I should have stepped in sooner when TJ and Trudy started being insulting. If I'd have been honest and sorted out TJ and Trudy, I wouldn't be in this mess. God, I'm such an idiot sometimes.

Work was OK. Gary asked how things were after the housewarming. I told him about Nikki wanting me to stop seeing Sci-Cyn and Mike. "What are you going to do?" he asked. "Well, I don't want to lose Nikki," I said, "It's going really well." Gary raised his eyebrows, which I noticed. "Yeah, OK," I exclaimed, "I know we've had a few ups and downs, but we get on really well. I just wish she didn't fly off the handle so much. I suppose I'll just have to tell Cyn and Mike that I can't see them for a while and see if Nikki will calm down over time. I really wish she'd get rid of that f*cking cat. I told her she could keep it but I'm starting to regret that now." I pointed to the scratch on my face. "Look," I snapped, "The little moggy scratched me again this morning." "You know you could always open the door, kick the cat out and just hope it doesn't come back," said Gary. "No such luck," I said, "That cat hates me. Anyway, I'm more bothered about the difficult conversation I have to have with Cyn and Mike." "Well, I suppose I need to have a difficult conversation with you right now," said Gary. "What do you mean?" I asked, feeling intrigued. "Well, I really hope you don't get angry, Chuckles," said Gary, "But I have to tell you... Well... At the housewarming... Well... Your Mum... She." "Did you shag her?" I bluntly asked. "Oh, God, no," exclaimed Gary, "I would never do that to you. No! That's your Mum. It's just that she... Well... She came on to me. She rubbed her vagina against me." "God," I said, rolling my eyes, "I'm so sorry. She's a nightmare. I'll see her later on and tell her off." "Aren't you bothered?" asked Gary. "I'm used to it," I said, "Some people say hello by giving you a hug or shaking you hand; My Mum rubs her f*nny against you." "She said she has a thing for bald men," said Gary. "She's a got a thing for men full stop," I said. "I was really worried about telling you," said Gary, "I didn't want you thinking I led her on or anything." "Don't worry about it," I said, "I know what she's like. I'll have a word." I didn't see much of Natasha which I was glad about, and after my shift Gary was kind enough to give me a lift into Cowes. He is a nice guy.