Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 964: Saturday 18th May 2019

Entry 964
Saturday 18th May 2019

Apart from some bickering between Mum and Auntie Meryl, it's been an alright day.

Work was the usual uneventful cr*p, but I was smiling a lot more thinking about the lovely time Nikki and I had last night. With the memory of mine and Nikki's kiss replaying in my head, picking up bits of litter and pieces of sh*t didn't feel as grim as it usually did.

When I got home, I walked in on an argument between Mum and Auntie Meryl. "You spiteful old jezebel," Auntie Meryl snapped, "I ought to slap some sense into you." "Oh, shut up, you silly old trout," said Mum, "You need to learn to take a joke." "For God's sake," I exclaimed, "What's going on now?" Auntie Meryl turned and looked at me with anger on her face, but it was hard to take her seriously as it was obvious she didn't have her false teeth in, and the bottom half of her face looked like it was sunk in. I giggled but tried to hide it. "My teeth," snapped Auntie Meryl, pointing at Mum, "That wicked old minx has hidden my false teeth." "Oh, Mum, just give her her bl**dy teeth back," I said, rolling my eyes. "I haven't touched her manky set of gnashers," said Mum. "You're a lying two-faced cow," snapped Auntie Meryl. "And you're a fat old saggy one," snapped Mum with a smug grin on her face. "Just give me my teeth or I'll knock yours out," snapped Auntie Meryl. "Oh, violence," said Mum, with an even smugger grin, "Have you heard this sausage? How do you feel having an Auntie who makes wild accusations, falsely alleges people have stolen her belongings, and then threatens to assault someone?" Auntie Meryl looked at me and frowned. "And how do you feel about having a Mother who steals other people's teeth, hides them, lies about it and drops her knickers and opens her legs for any Tom, Dick or Harry that looks sideways at her." "How do you think your brother would feel if he could see you now?" said Mum, "Threatening his wife with violence and talking to me with no respect." "Respect!?" exclaimed auntie Meryl, "That's a frigging joke. What do you know about respect? My false teeth have got more respect in them than you have in your entire body." "Those false teeth are disgusting," snapped Mum. "You're a dirty old slapper who doesn't care who puts his old lad in her," snapped Auntie Meryl, "And as for my poor brother, if he could hear me talking to you now, he'd probably shake my hand and take me out for a meal, saying it's about time someone stood up to you and your wily ways. My brother was a good man, but he was a weak man and you exploited that." "Oh shut up, you daft cow," said Mum, "I'm going out." "You're not going anywhere until you tell me where my teeth are," snapped Auntie Meryl. "I don't know where your frigging teeth are," snapped Mum, "I'm just glad they're not sat on the edge of the sink looking over at me like something out of a horror film. I'm off. Sausage, I just put Leo down for a bit so he should be OK for a while. See ya." Mum then left leaving Auntie Meryl in an angered state. "Look," I said, "Do you want me to help you look for your teeth?" "That slut of a Mother of yours had hidden them," snapped Auntie Meryl, "They could be anywhere in this house. They might not even be in this house. She could have buried them somewhere." "Oh, Auntie Meryl," I said, "Don't be silly. They'll tun up. You might have misplaced them somewhere." "I haven't misplaced them anywhere," said a firm Auntie Meryl, "That slag has hidden them. Oh, I'm going to get her back for this." I helped Auntie Meryl look for her teeth, but we couldn't find them. She ended up going to her room in a mood.

I took Leo for a walk down by the beach, did a bit of shopping, and met with Sci-Fi Cyn for a cuppa at Sails. I told her all about my evening out with Nikki. "So," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Is Wriggly Worm going to get a girlfriend?" "Well, I think it's a bit too soon to be saying boyfriend and girlfriend," I said, "But we certainly enjoyed each other's company." "Bit of a turn up for the books," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "You hated each other's guts a few weeks ago, and now you're snogging each other," "Yeah," I said, "How things change. You know we've got loads in common?" "Well don't go rushing into anything," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Just take your time. "Don't worry, I will," I said, "You're the one who's talking about boyfriends and girlfriends. You'll be marrying us off next." Sci-Fi Cyn and I started talking about the walls that are being built around the populated areas of the island. "They're coming along nicely," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "They'll be fully erected in a few days. We'll all be safe then." "I'm not so sure," I said. "What do you mean?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn. "I mean we'll be trapped," I said, "If there's an outbreak in Cowes for example, the walls will mean we can't get out." "Everyone'll be sent to the underground bunkers," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "If we get there in time," I said, "Sorry, but I'm not sure these walls are a good idea. They might stop any infected from getting in, but they'll stop US from getting out." "We won't need to get out," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Like I said, we'll all be evacuated underground." "And like I said, we might not get there in time," I said, "Come on Cyn, think about it. We're all walled in an area of the island, armed GRID soldiers are at check points to decide who gets in and out, and we've got these stupid policies that mean we can't kill infected. Sorry, but it's stupid.  Putting a load of people in a town, building a wall around it and telling them they can't kill infected if there's an outbreak. Does that sound smart to you?" "We can still kill infected if we really need to," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Yeah, but we can't run, can we?" I said, "If we can't get to the bunkers, we'll need to run for our lives, but we're trapped within the walls so where will we run to?" "We can run to the bunkers," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "And like I said, no one is saying you can't kill. They're saying you need to think about quarantining before killing." "Well, they can forget that," I said, "If I'm faced with infected and I'm trapped within these walls, I'll be killing. I won't be giving securing and quarantining a single thought." "Fair enough," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I just think Blade is putting the walls up to help everyone feel safer." "Cyn, we're not safer," I said, "We're in more danger than we ever have been." "Luke, I don't think it's as simple as that," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Whatever," I said, "But if Blade thinks these walls are a good idea, he's deluded." "Yes, well he's rather stressed at the moment," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "To be honest I'm worried about him. I'm not sure he's coping." "What do you mean?" I asked. "Oh, it doesn't matter," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Forget it." I carried on talking to Sci-Fi Cyn about Nikki and about the dramas with Auntie Meryl and Mum, and then I went home.