Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1063: Sunday 25th August 2019

Entry 1063
Sunday 25th August 2019

No change.

Auntie Meryl is still in a coma.

I'm still here with Naomi. We're both absolutely exhausted. Sleeping on those sofas in the relative's room wasn't great.

The Doctors have been in to see us but they haven't really said anything useful, and the stuff they have said was all medical jargon that I didn't understand. Bottom line: no change. They just keep coming in and out of the room and checking on Auntie Meryl.

TJ and Mum came to see me today. TJ was incredibly supportive. Not like him at all. "Don't you worry Elizabeth," said TJ, as he put his arm around me and offered me a cup of tea, "There's no way that game old bird is going to let a bang on the head finish her off. She'll be gagging to get back on her feet and tell you what a pr*ck you are for not listening to her and putting up with all that sh*t from Nikki." "I hope you're right," I said, as I took a slurp of my tea, "I can't bear the idea of... Well... You know..." "Luke, you need to knock it off," said TJ, "Think positive. Talk to the mad old cow. Remember when she caught you having a w*nk? Remember all the crazy stuff she's said that's had us p*ssing ourselves laughing. Life just wouldn't be the same with that old girl. Don't see it as if she's in some sort of coma. Just see it as if she's taking a well-earned and much needed rest. She'll be back up on her feet and taking the p*ss out of you in no time." I gave TJ a warm smile and placed my head on top of his. "Thanks TJ," I said. "Yeah, alright gay-boy," said TJ, "Don't go getting a stiffy. Just keep talking to Meryl. You never know; the sound of your whiney voice might just be enough to wake her up."

Sci-Fi Cyn and Mike came to the hospital in the afternoon. Mike was all huggy and touchy feely. It was nice but also a bit over the top. "I can stay here with you," said Mike, "I can look after you." "It's OK, Mike," I said, "Naomi's here. You just look after Leo," "Trudy's looking after him," said Mike. "Yeah, well you can help Trudy, then can't you?" I said. "Have you eaten today?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn. "No," I said, "I haven't eaten anything since Friday afternoon." "Babes, you need to eat," said Mike, "There's no point in you being here waiting for Meryl to wake up, only for her to be taken out of the bed and you to be put into it." "Mike's right," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "You have to eat something." "Naomi tried to get me to eat something but I just couldn't face it," I said. "Right," said Sci-Fi Cynin a stern tone, "Wait here."  Sci-Fi Cyn left the room, and returned about fifteen minutes later with two portions of chips and two cups of tea. She handed a carton of tea and a portion of chips to Naomi and handed the same to me. "Thanks," I said, "If I keep drinking tea like this, I think I might burst." "No, babes," said Mike, putting his hand on my shoulder, "That won't happen. You'll probably just need to go to the toilet and have a wee." "Yeah, I know, Mike," I plainly said, "I was joking." "Ooooh," said Mike, "HA! HA! HA!" he laughed in a rather loud and over the top way, "That's REALLY funny." "Tone it down a bit, Mike," I said. "Sorry babes," said Mike, "I just want to help you relax. Do you want me to give you a shoulder rub?" "No, thanks, Mike," I said. "Eat the chips and drink the tea," said Sci-Fi Cyn. I did as I was told and drank the tea and ate the chips. It was nice to have some food, and I suppose Cyn and Mike had a point. When Auntie Meryl wakes up, I need to be on top form to make sure she's alright, and I can't do that if I'm weak because I haven't eaten.

Naomi's just brought us some more tea. I can't remember the last time I drank so much tea. What is it with British people? Every time there's a crisis we run for the kettle as if making and drinking tea is going to make things better. It's going to take a lot more than a cup of tea to fix this one.