Undertale Boiz x Reader

HYOMAN [Drunk!Papyrus x Reader]

Because it sounded funny. Plus the video inspired me. So turn around, touch the ground, Mom sot down because it is storytime.

You were officially pissed off at Sans.

Okay, so he goes to Grillby's and brings Papyrus with him for the first time in forever. You expect this to be just a normal Brother to brother talk. Heartfelt and everything. But what you didn't expect was FUCKING SANS BRINGING A FUCKING DRUNK OFF THE WALL INNOCENT SKELETON HOME ON HSI SHOULDERS AND LEAVING YOU WITH HIM SO HE CAN FUCKING SLEEP!!!

Yeah. Papyrus was speaking gibberish and was tipsey as fuck while Sanses literally dragged him onto the couch and teleported to his room, locking the door. Papyrus was groaning and singing random songs on the top of his nonexistent lungs. You already had a headache. You have to get him somber. 

"Papyrus?"

He stopped singing "when we're human"from the princess and the frog to listen to you. Wait, hold up. How the actual fuck does he know that song!? You know what? Screw it. He's a magic, drunk, tall skeleton that you actually managed to fall in love with. Who needs logic in this situation!?

"HYOOOOOMAN!!!"

He falls off the couch after saying his affectionate nickname for you. Wow, this was going to be a thousand times harder than you thought. You walk over to him, taking up the whole couch and falling off from the rib cage up.

"Pappy, is something up? Or are you just so drunk you can't stand it?"

Papyrus looked up at you with a cute little pout. Nope. We aren't going to talk about how that's isn't possible because he is a magic skeleton. He was very cute though, you couldn't help but smile like an idiot.

"IM NOT DRUNK!!! SANS JUST GAVE ME A BOTTLE OF APPLE CIDER AND I SAID I WANTED THE GRAPE CIDER SO I TOOK IT FROM HIM!!! AND A FEW MORE GLASSES! ... I LIKE GRAPE CIDER."

Okay. It was wine. That's easier to deal with than, I don't know, the hardcore whiskey Sans always has. He could have tried giving him the whiskey as apple cider. Who knows. All you did know is that you didn't have the heart to tell papyrus that grape cider didn't exist.

"Okay, big guy. We should get you to bed soon. Okay?"

You rub his skull affectionately. He falls off the couch entirely, apparently on purpose. He lays his skull in your lap, hoping for more stroking. Pfft. He was just like a cat. Good thing you loved cats! NYAH HAH HAH!!!

"NYO!!!"

Nyo? Oh, That meant no. He just added that extra sound to it like he did with human earlier. That was actually adorable and kinda feline like. Does papyrus basically turn into a giant skeleton cat when drunk? That was actually... kind of funny.

"Please? I'll read you a bedtime Story and cover you with special blankets! You get your race car bed!"

You tried to make it sound as appealing as you could. Yeah, appealing to a five year old. Papyrus thought about it, before opening his jaw to say something else. 

"NYO! I WANT TO STAY RIGHT HERE WITH YOU, HYOMAN!!!"

Like that, he started pretend sleeping. You couldn't pick him up and he scooted so his torso was in your lap so you were stuck. Stubborn like a cat too. Feline papyrus definitely wasn't best papyrus. Sorry Neko fangirls, even though papyrus isn't Neko right now and he's just drunk.

Soon papyrus actually fell asleep. You couldn't move so you had no choice but to stay right there with him. Let's just say, when you both woke up to the flash of a camera neither of you were very happy campers.

Done! Short yet hilarious. I like it.

~Eva