I am lying in bed staring at the ceiling... I can't sleep... The sounds are different the sound of the AC is annoying me but if i would turn it off it would get to hot... Every time i hear something outside i wonder what it is... I always have had this problem the first few days i would barely sleep in a new place... I needed my sleep tomorrow i would not have to work but the day after that i had to be well rested and on my A game... I could not fuck this up...
I sigh and get out of the bed and put on a shirt and as quiet as possible i walk out the bedroom and towards the kitchen... I sigh and make myself a cup of tea hoping it will settle my nerves... I was nervous for my first day and i just hoped i would do a good job... I tried not to let Josh his words get to me but deep down they did...
"Can't sleep?" A voice said and i look up and Chris is standing in the door opening from the kitchen... I sigh and nod... "To many weird sounds freaking me out..." I mumble... Chris walks over to me and i have to refrain myself from staring as he is only wearing sweatpants... I all of a sudden feel a bit naked in only my shirt and panties... He leans against the counter next to me and sighs...
"You are save here, Angel..." He whispers and i nod... "I know... It is not about that... I can never sleep the first few nights in a new house... To alert on new sounds wondering what everything is..." I mumble and Chris wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me into him and he kisses the top of my head... "Why dont you take one of your loopy pills... It will help you sleep..." He says and i smile... "You just want me all loopy for your entertainment..." I say letting out a chuckle and he laughs... "No i want you to be able to sleep..." He says and i sigh again... "I will be fine... It just will take some time..." I say and he kisses the top of my head again...
He takes my cup of tea and i look at him confused... "Come on..." He says the sound of his voice resolute and i look at him confused... "You can sleep in my bed tonight..." He says and i look at him hesitantly..."Come on we shared a bed before... I will even let you have the left side...." He says smirking and i laugh as i think of the endless discussion we had who was the one to be sleeping on the left side of the bed... We had to share a bed in that awful bed and breakfast after we almost had an accident because we were so tired that we could barely keep our eyes open...
We came back from New York were i went with him to support him for the tonight show... I remember feeling so awkward when he crawled into bed beside me... I didn't sleep a lot that night as i was too focused on the man sleeping beside him scared i would snore or do something stupid in my sleep... I just pretended to sleep as i peaked at him every now and then like some creep... He was out like a light in seconds and i just watched him...
"It won't help... I will have to get used to the sounds in my room..." I mumble and Chris rolls his eyes... "Fine we will sleep in your room..." He says and i look at him not sure how to respond to this... "I promise just sleep... I will be a perfect gentleman Ava... You need your sleep not only for work but to heal..." He says and i sigh knowing he is right and i am not worried about him... I am worried about myself...
Chris and i were finally acting normal around each other again and i just didn't want to confuse myself even more now it seems like Chris had given up on the whole... I want you, thing... I knew he eventually would but after everything it surprised me how much it confused me... Was i sad that he already moved on... Did he move on... He didn't have women around... He wasn't on his phone all the time grinning at the screen like he used to do... But still i was here to work and i couldn't afford to screw everything up... Why is my mind so messed up... Why do i keep drifting towards him when i am so sure that it was a bad idea...
"Ava?" Chris says pulling me out of my thoughts by waving his hand in front of his face and i look up at him sad and confused... "I dont know if it is a good idea..." I whisper and he sighs putting a strain of my hair behind my ear and runs his thumb over my non bruised cheek... "Okay..." He says a sad look on his face and just walks out of the kitchen...
I sigh and push myself of the counter... I walk back to my room and get in my bed, but my head is full and there is no way i am going to be able to sleep now... I twist and turn and sigh... I start to trash around feeling frustrated with myself... I stopped because my head started to throb and i started to cry... All of a sudden, the door open and Chris walks in... I look at him with tears in my eyes and without saying a word he walks over to the bed and gets in... I want to protest but he shushes me and pulls me in his arms and i can feel my body relax... I start to cry again, really cry and he pulls me closer and holds me and keeps telling me over and over to let it all out as he holds me...
