I make Chris something to eat and while he eats i am going to check on the boys. Jack is with Lisa playing in the yard. The boys are still asleep looking so peaceful and i sigh. They dont care where they are as long as they get fed, changed and some cuddles...
I sigh and walk back downstairs where Chris is just putting his plate away... It broke my heart to see him cry and blame himself... He looks so tired and just burned out... I have to be strong for him now. He needs me... I had my little moment of weakness when i came here with the boys but after my nap and my gut feeling confirmed that it was Josh i was determined to not give that idiot the satisfaction of breaking me, of breaking my family... That and my boys. I need to be strong for my boys...
Chris his phone buzzes and he sighs picking up... "Okay thanks..." He says after a short one-sided conversation and i looked at him giving him a little smile... "We can get back to the house tomorrow morning..." Chris says his tone soft and he sounds tired i nod and walk over to him and kiss him.
"Good... But first you are going to take a nap..." I say taking his hand and leading him up the stairs... I take a deep breath as Chris just looks exhausted... I take a deep breath to not cry about seeing him so broken. I help him undress kissing his chest a few times before kissing his lips. "We are going to be okay sappy... I love you..." I say and finally a smile appears on his face... "Love you to angel..." He murmurs back.
I lead him to his childhood bed and smirk... "Can't believe we are going to sleep in your childhood bed... Feel a bit like a teenager again... The fear of getting caught..." I say and Chris chuckles before he yawns and i chuckle to... "Okay lay down..." I say and he drops himself on the bed and i tuck him in kissing his forehead... "Just rest sappy... Just sleep and dont worry... I got you..." I say and kiss him, he smiles and 2 seconds later he is in a deep sleep already.
I walk to the window and smile as i see Lisa with Jack playing... I close the curtains and walk downstairs... I sigh and take a deep breath and make a list... A list on what we have to do to get the house back to a livable state.
I call a cleaning company and explain the situation and what i need from them... I hire them to clean out the house and to only save sentimental items like photo's... The rest they can get rid of... I then call a contractor and again explain, and the man sounds horrified and offers to make time for us immediately as i say i just had my babies... Yes, i know it is bad to use them for sympathy points but i want everything to be done quickly... I am determined to get home as soon as we can... I agree to meet him tomorrow morning at the house which coincides with me meeting the cleaning crew but i figure i could do 2 things at once...
I hear the boys cry and make my way towards them and feed them before changing their diapers and change their clothes... "Do you need help sweetie?" I hear Lisa say and i turn around and smile shaking my head... "No... I am done already... I do have a favor to ask..." I say and she nods... "Can you help Chris with the boy's tomorrow morning... I have a few appointments..." I say and she smiles and nods... "I will pump before that so there is milk for them..." I say and she smiles...
"Where are you going?" She asks and i sigh... "To fix it all..." I say looking at her determined and she walks over to me with a big smile... "You are so strong... The boys are so lucky to have you as a mom... And Chris as a wife..." She says and i blush... "He looked so broken... He blames himself... He needs me to be strong now. I will not let Josh break us... Over my dead body..." I say and Lisa nods... "Good..." She says and we both smile...
I have dinner with Jack and Lisa as Chris is still out like a light. I am letting him sleep as long as he needs it... I get up a few times through the night to take care of the twins and in the morning, Chris is still asleep... For a second i am worried and check if he is still alive and thank God, he is...
Lisa is already downstairs and looks surprised as i am the first to come downstairs dressed and ready to go out... "I fed the twins... Jack and Chris are still asleep. I have put the milk i pumped in the fridge..." I say taking my car keys and Lisa nods... "Are you sure you are going to do this alone?" She says and i nod... "Yes... Chris is still asleep... He has slept around the clock already... So, he must need it... I dont want to wake him. He will wake up when he is ready... Or wake him when you need help with the boys..." I say and she nods...
I hug her before walking out the door... I get in the car and drive to the house... I am early as i wanted to do a walk through for myself... I needed to see it for myself... I only saw a little bit. From what i understood it was the whole house and i just needed to see with my own eyes...
I drive up to the house through the gate and it was quiet. From the outside it looked like nothing was wrong... It looked so peaceful... The outside did not match the horror on the inside... I parked the car and looked behind me... I had left the gate open for the cleaning crew and contractor to get in and i took a deep breath and walked up to the front door.
I took a deep breath and opened the door... I walked inside taking another deep breath... Okay this i had seen... I walk further in the house and sigh... The kitchen is a mess... I ignore the grafiti because i dont want to cry. I check the whole first floor just letting out sigh after sigh and it almost is to much when i see our wedding picture... It is ruined but i keep my tears at bay knowing i can replace it... I walk towards the stairs and all my photos are on the stairs shattered i see the picture of Jack's bio mom and sigh it almost breaks me but i thank god that i can replace that too.
Upstairs is no better... But when i walk into our bedroom the stench of urine and feces is hitting me in the face and almost have to throw up so i quickly close the door again... Our bed seems to be urine soaked and feces were smeared all over the walls it was disgusting... All of a sudden i hear the doorbell and i jump a little...
"Get a grip woman..." I mumble to myself before i take a deep breath and walk downstairs... Time to get to work...
