I am sitting in the windowsill looking outside... It is the first night in our new place... We had fully moved in, and Chris had put his house on the market... I couldn't sleep... So much was going through my mind... In a few days so much had happened... Mackie and Seb had gone back home after helping us pack Chris his stuff up... It had been so busy... We had been working for days unpacking with Chris his family... Putting everything in place... But the house was done... It was our home... I loved it... But part of me felt sad...
The biggest reason i could not sleep was little Jack... I had tried... I had really tried to not let his situation get to me but i couldn't get him out of my mind... I had visited him a few times... Once to give him the photo i had restored... The other times because i just wanted to see how he was doing... Chris knows about the time i went to give him the photo as he had tagged along but i hadn't told him about my other visits... We had spent hours with him... He had laughed and smiled with Chris... He finally let me take a picture of him and Chris as he was proudly holding up the photo of his mom in his one little hand and in the other the little shield... He then had asked Chris to take a picture of me with him and he proudly held up the photo... When we eventually had left Chris had to hold me outside in the parking lot as i broke down...
The boy was all alone... We had learned more about him... He was staying in the hospital because no one was willing to foster or adopt him because of all that would come with his medical condition... The treatment had been tough on his little body and other than the sweet staff of the hospital no one seems to give a damn... I learned that his social worker came by once a week to sign off on treatments if he needed it... But most of the time he was just sitting there... alone... He should be at home but with no one willing to provide him with a home he had to stay in the hospital... There was no one to hold his hand through all of it... Nobody willing to care for him as they deemed him too difficult...
I look outside and sigh... Every time i would leave Jack my heart would break... He looked so small in that big bed... He would be all smiles as i was there... Once he opened up to you, he was a chatty little boy... He is so smart and funny... So sweet and he would tell me about his mom... The woman had tried her best... And i truly believed she loved him... The addiction just got a hold of her... But the sad face when i would leave is what got to me the most...
Chris had asked me a few times what was wrong as he had caught me crying... He was worried i know that but i was scared to tell him what i was up to...
"Ava?" I hear and i quickly wipe my tears away... "Sorry did i wake you..." I whisper and Chris sigs sitting down in the windowsill with me cups my face... "It is okay... But please tell me what is going on angel..." He whispers and i start to cry again leaning forward burying my head in his chest... "Do you have second thoughts about living here together... about getting married?" He asks and i sit up look at him shocked and shake my head vigorously...
"What! No...!" I say and grab his face with both hands kissing him hard... "I love you so much... I love our house it is our little slice of heaven and i can't wait to marry you..." I whisper and he sighs... "Then what... You have been crying so much lately..." He whispers and i sigh... "Promise you won't be mad..." I whisper and he sighs... "I promise... I just want to know what is going on... I think i know... But i have to hear you say it..." He says and i take a deep breath...
"I... I have been visiting Jack..." I whisper and he takes a deep breath a smile forming on his face... "I know..." He says and i look at him shocked... "You know... How...?" I ask him as i turn bright red... "The woman of Christophers haven had called to thank us... She said it was so sweet that you visited Jack every day and that it had improved Jack's mood so much..." He says and i start to cry again... "I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I should not have hidden it from you..." I say sobbing and Chris sighs wrapping his arms around me... "It is okay angel... It is okay..." He says rubbing my back letting me cry...
"He has no one... No one to hold his hand when he is scared... No one to comfort him... The social worker comes in signs papers and leaves again... He is scared and alone..." I say now crying so hard that my whole body is shocking... "He is in that hospital because no one want him... No one wants to take care of him because it is too much of a hassle... He doesn't really have to be there between treatments... He is there because no one wants him... No one wants to take care of him... No one to love him... To hold him... Just hold him to comfort him..." I say sobbing barely able to breath...
"Angel... You need to breathe..." He whispers but i am beyond reason as i am just losing it... "Angel..." He says cupping my face with both hands making me look up at him as tears stream down my face... "Breathe..." He whispers as he presses his lips on mine and i calm down a bit... If someone could calm me, it was him...
"It is not true that he has no one... He has you... He has us..." Chris whispers and i look at him shocked... "What?" I say softly not understanding but somehow his words calm me down immediately... "Angel... What do you want..." He asks and i look at him stunned... "Let your heart speak... Dont be afraid..." He whispers... I know what i want but i am scared he will say i am insane... "Tell me angel... Do you want to foster him? Adopt him? Tell me angel... Tell me and we will make it happen..." He whispers and i wipe away my tears...
"You would want that...?" I say and he nods a big smile on his face... "But we had plans..." I whisper and Chris smiles... "Plans can be changed angel... Besides i knew where it was headed when we visited him to bring him the picture of his mother... I could see it in your eyes... You love him..." He says and i just look at him shocked... "I love him to angel... I have been calling to check in on him every day... I can see what you see... He is a cute bugger he deserves to be loved and cared for to have someone who gives a damn... So, tell me what you want..." He says and i sigh...
"It will not be easy... He is sick... He might never get better... We need to realize that..." I whisper and Chris nods... "I know... But we can provide him with the best... We will give him the best treatments... And above all we can give him love... A stable home... A chance at live... Even if he won't make it, we will have loved him and can rest in the fact he didn't have to go through all of it alone... But i know we will fight for him to make it... To get better... We have the space... The means... And above all the love to take care of him... Give him a family..." Chris says and i am in awe...
He just knows what i want before i really knew what i wanted and i cup his face and kiss him passionately... "You are amazing... You know that... Just when i think i couldn't possibly love you more..." I whisper and he smiles... "I love you to... But i still need you to tell me angel... Tell me what you want... I need you to say the words..." He whispers and i nod... "I want Jack... I want to give him a home... I want to give him comfort... I want to make him feel wanted and loved... I want to adopt him... To be his family... But only if he wants it to... I dont want to force it on him..." I say and he smiles kissing me again... "Okay let's do it..." He says and we kiss again both smiling into the kiss...
