Liar, Liar, the Mage's Desire Vol. 2 (The Oumeno Strikes Back)

The Baby Pageant (6)

    The show was about to start in 15 minutes. Kokichi and Himiko were waiting anxiously while the other parents were rushing to make sure their babies looked presentable. Kokichi and Himiko awkwardly fluffed Ryoma's hair, trying to make him look cute and adorable. Hesitantly, Kokichi placed a pacifier into Ryoma's mouth.

  "Kokichi...this is reeeaaallly weird," Himiko whispered. 

  "Yeah...I know," Kokichi sighed. "Maybe we should just call it quits, huh?"

  "That would seem like the smart thing to do," Haruka said with a haughty little chuckle. "You have no chance of winning with that ugly baby of yours!"

   "Nyeeeh...we'll show you!!" Himiko growled, pointing a furious finger at Haruka. "Hank will be far better than your crummy old-"

   "River!" Kokichi interrupted in his disguised voice. "Let's not stoop to this atrocious creature's level...okay?" Himiko huffed and glared at the woman. Haruka snorted and walked off. 

   "Stupid, little...little...urrghh!! I don't like swearing, so I can't say the word I wanna say!!" Himiko exclaimed in frustration. 

   "What? Bitch?" Kokichi asked.

  "Yeah, that one!" Himiko replied. Then, she swatted his arm. "And don't say that word around babies!"

   "Nee-heehee...why? It's not like they can understand me," Kokichi snickered. 

  "It doesn't matter! Babies pick up bad habits easily!" Himiko scolded. 

  "Jeez, you already sound like a mom," Kokichi said with a smirk. Himiko crossed her arms at him.

  "Maternal instincts just come naturally," she simply replied. Suddenly, Ryoma began to fuss.

   "Okay, Miss Maternal Instinct, what's goin' on with Ryoma?" Kokichi whispered to Himiko with a smart-alecky grin. Himiko sassily pursed her lips at Kokichi before picking Ryoma up. 

  "Nyeh...he, um...obviously needs his diaper changed," Himiko replied with uncertainty. 

  "Actually...that sounds more like a hunger cry," Hanako said, chiming in. Kokichi and Himiko stared at her in confusion. "Didn't you two know that?" Hanako asked. "Babies cry differently depending on what they need."

   "Yes, of course! We knew that!" Kokichi said, clearing his throat. "We were just so surprised that you came into the conversation so suddenly."

   "Oh! Excuse me! Was I interrupting something?" Hanako said apologetically. 

  "No, no," Kokichi assured. Then he turned to Himiko. "Uh, River, dear? Could you retrieve Hanky's bottle? It should be in the diaper bag."