Liar, Liar, the Mage's Desire Vol. 2 (The Oumeno Strikes Back)

Kaede's Dirty Little Secret (2)

   Kokichi and Himiko tiptoed to Kaede and Miu's room, and peeked inside to make sure the coast was clear. Himiko then led the way to Kaede's bed and reached under her mattress to grab Kaede's diary. They sat on Kaede's bed, skimming the diary while pausing on some entries every now and then. Most of her secrets were boring. Others were somewhat interesting. 

   "Nyeh...read this one, Kokichi," Himiko whispered, handing Kokichi the diary. Kokichi scanned the page:

   Dear Diary,

  Ugh! Sometimes, I hate sleeping in the same room as Miu! And it's not even the arguing, or her weird behavior. I guess I can deal with those. But, she farts in her sleep, and it smells so...damn...bad! It literally stinks up the entire room! Like, what is Kirumi feeding that girl?! I tried to tell Miu about it one day, but she just told me to get over it! I wish she'd at least invent some kind of fart-sensing air freshener so that every time she farted, the air freshener would just make her corpse-smelling flatulations go away! Anyways...I just wanted to get that off my chest. If this keeps happening, I'll probably end up sharing rooms with both Kirumi and Maki from now on. 

   "Nee-heehee...welp, I wasn't lying when I said Miu was full of shit," Kokichi snickered. 

   "Too bad Kaede had to find that out the hard way," Himiko said. "Nyeh...oh, well! Let's read more!" Kokichi grinned at her and kissed her cheek before flipping through more pages. They landed on another page, this time, about Celeste:

   Dear Diary,

  Nobody knows this about me, but I really love Celeste's goth lolita style! I *really* wanted to go as one to the lolita café (last time I'll bring that up, I promise), but since Celeste was already the goth lolita of the group, I decided to go in a country lolita outfit instead. I don't know if I could pull off the goth lolita look, though. I'd have to dye my hair black and everything. Ooo! Maybe Shuichi might find me more alluring! Maybe I should consider it more! And, of course, I'd also like to keep this a secret because if other people found out, I'd be made fun of. I don't even know what *Shuichi* would think of me if he knew about this, but...I'd also love to be a magical girl! ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

  Kokichi and Himiko smiled in amazement at each other, recalling the time when they went into Kaede's dream one night and witnessed her as a magical girl. 

  I know this is weird to say, but I so wish Himiko's magic was real! Maybe she'd be able to turn me into one! I know that sounds super silly, but, you can't blame a girl for dreaming, y'know? I remember having a dream a few months ago where I was a magical girl, and I fought this weird lady made out of snot, or something. Not the kind of villain I'd like to fight, but, oh, well! It was a fun dream anyway! Now that I think about it, I think Himiko actually *was* in that dream! Maybe it's a sign. GASP! Maybe she really *does* have magic!! I doubt it, but I love that idea so much! Why else would she be in my dream?! Maybe I should tell her about it. I just know she'd get a kick out of it! Well, anyway, I just wanted to finally talk about how jealous I am of Celeste and her cool goth lolita dresses! If I could, I'd be a magical goth lolita girl!

   "Wow! Who knew Kaede had an inner goth?" Kokichi said. "And mixed with a magical girl? Those are two things I never thought a girl would wanna be simultaneously." 

   "Nyeh...I think she'd look cool with black hair," Himiko admitted. "Maybe if we have another girls' day out, I'll convince her to dye it black."

   "Yup! She'll be Kaede 'Blackamatsu,' the magical girl!" Kokichi said with a cheeky grin. "Wanna keep going?"

   "Yeah!" Himiko nodded. They skimmed the rest of the diary, ending up on the latest entry. Kokichi's eyes widened.

   "Whoa! Check this one out, Monkey Buns!" he exclaimed, showing Himiko the page. "She wrote this one last night!" Himiko craned her neck to read:

   Dear Diary,

   Well...tomorrow night is the night! I'm so excited! Shuichi finally agreed to do it with me! I didn't think he would, since he's so uncomfortable with that kinda thing, but I told him how important this was to me, and in the end, he actually said that he would support me in any way he could! I can't believe how lucky I am to have a boyfriend who loves me this much! We're going to do it at an actual love hotel nearby because he said it would be awkward and embarrassing to do it here, and I understand. Shuichi's the "shy boy" type. Some people, like Miu or Kokichi, would give him a hard time about it. Plus, the love hotel would do way better to set the mood anyways! Okay, I gotta stop talking about it. The more I think about it, the more nervous I'll get, and I can't pass up this opportunity! I need this!

  Kokichi and Himiko's mouths dropped open as they read, shooting glances of disbelief between each other and Kaede's diary. 

  "I...I can't believe her!!" Himiko whisper-yelled. "She and Shuichi are actually gonna...gonna..."

   "Do the Electrical Waltz?" Kokichi finished for her, wiggling his brow.

   "Yes, that!!" Himiko cried, pointing at Kokichi. She then grabbed Kokichi's arm. "Nyeh...Kokichi! We gotta stop them!"

   "Pfft...why?" Kokichi asked. "Shuichi finally wants to stop being a grandma whose balls haven't dropped yet. That's none of our business."

   "Grandmas don't have..." Himiko paused to look around, then, she lowered her voice. "...balls." Kokichi smirked and chuckled at her. "But, also, if we stop them, it means we'd be meddling in their lives. And I know how much you like to do that." Kokichi tapped his chin in thought.

   "You're not wrong," he said. "It would be boring to just stay here and not ruin things." He gave Himiko a wink. Himiko smiled appreciatively at him.

   "So...we're going?!" she asked hopefully.

   "Of course!" Kokichi replied. "Especially since it's not very often that you feel mischievous. This is a perfect time as any to-" Kokichi was then cut off by Kaede's voice floating through the hallway. 

   "Yeah, I'll be right back, Shuichi" she called. "I just need something from my room!" Kokichi and Himiko jumped off of Kaede's bed. Kokichi thrust her diary back under her mattress. 

   "What do we do?!" Himiko whispered frantically. "Do we hide?!"

   "Follow my lead," Kokichi said, then dropped to the ground, holding his leg.