Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Messiah: The Soldier of the Orient

By @mchuang

For the first impressions, we think it's a very nice cover, the drawing is pretty neat and the composition is balanced and interesting.

You have a comprehensive blurb that contains all the essentials to a good blurb.

It has pretty good, solid mechanics, as there weren't glaring grammar or sentence structure mistakes.

The plot is original, not an overused concept. The pacing could perhaps use a little fine tuning, as the time of the person falling seems to take a long time.

As for the characters, the younger sister was written well, she seemed like a real kid. The older one could perhaps use a little more of a distinctive voice.

There was a lot going on, but it wasn't very gripping. Most of the characters didn't leave much of an impression, it was hard to connect with the characters and therefore become more invested.

One thing we noticed was that there are some very religious allegories, which is understood to be purposeful, but there's a little concern that some people might take it the wrong way.

But overall, there's potential in this story line. We think you have a good start and wish you well on your way forward!