Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Some Bonds Just Can't Be Broken

By: BeautifulPink101

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is fine

-Cover: On the cover, the people's faces are cut off, and the red font is a little difficult to read.

-Blurb: The blurb is pretty good, but the line that starts off with "Imagine seeing your best friend after a long time..." is a little redundant because the next sentence repeats it again but with the characters in it.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- There's not too many grammatical errors, but there are a couple of typos here and there.

- Some paragraphs are perhaps a bit lengthy, so perhaps breaking them up a little can make it easier for the reader.

Plot

- There are some good plot points- but there were two instances kind of close to each other in which someone gets in a fist fight with James Barnes. (Chapter five, then chapter seven)

Characters

- Perhaps try giving the villain or bully more backstory or depth by giving him some vulnerable moments.

- Even though most may know what the characters look like, it might help readers visualize the scene more if more physical descriptions were included.

Seems like the story is off to a good start. We wish you the best in your writing journey!