Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

East Queen

By: HannWhee

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title seems appropriate

-Cover: The cover is good, it has nice fonts for the title, but the stickers on both sides of her face prove to be a little distracting. Perhaps if they are all on the left or right side, it will be less distracting.

-Blurb: The blurb is complete and comprehensive.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

There are no mistakes spotted.

Plot & Characters

- Excellent start- it shows how young she was when she was involved, but the second paragraph is a great way to show that it still bothers her, even if is only once in a while. It shows that she is badass but she still has a conscience.

- We found it a little odd that she went to school still if she was practically the leader of a gang.

- More worldbuilding (explaining more of how the gang operates, what the physical surroundings look like) might help better orient readers. For example, it is unclear if they are actual royalty, as one person goes by "Prince" and there is a lot of conversation about royalty, and the throne.

-One thing to be wary of is the fact that there are a lot of 'politics' involved, it can get complicated and readers can get lost. For example, in chapter 11, the name Dominic Clegane was said in a statement that had a lot of impact. However, it may be a good idea to reintroduce who this character is because it has been a while since the name has been brought up to have the most impact on readers.

The prose is written very well, and there seems to be a lot of interesting plot points. Best of luck with your writing journey!