Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

The Lies That We Tell

By emliarad

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title seems fitting.

-Cover: The cover is nice, except the author is a little difficult to read.

-Blurb: The blurb is good but doesn't exactly cover the Theo's internal struggles with his sexuality, which perhaps is a key point in the story.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

A couple of typos or grammar mistakes here or there, but nothing too distracting.

Plot & Characters

- Perhaps it could use a little more set up with Quinton's crush on Issac.

- At first, it is hard to see Theo as a likable character, so maybe some of the comments could maybe have been just knee-jerk reactions that he kept mostly to himself can make him a little more likable from the beginning as apposed to a total jerk. While it is acknowledged that the point of the beginning is to see how far he has come from being a jerk, maybe readers would find more reason to support Theo from the start.

- There are some contradictions in terns of Quinton's values on gender. He seems like a person who doesn't enforce to gender stereotypes, but there were some things he said that kind of contradicted that. Such as in Chapter 2 after the shopping trip, he says, "Mom, I'm a guy. We don't take long warm baths." and at dinner, "I'm just tired from today. You know how girls can be with their shopping and all."

(The following comments are Ellie's opinions)

- I thought Theo falling for Quinton felt believable, it wasn't where he just woke up one day and loved Quinton.

- Some of the scenes between Theo and Quinton were emotional and touching.

Overall, this story is well written and is a nice coming of age story. Best of luck to your writing journey!