Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Perfect

By: SilverTree27

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover is fine.

-Blurb: The blurb is good.

-Title: The title is fitting.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is good for the most part.

Plot & Characters

- Is there any reason given why someone gets magic at 16 years old?

- It feels like there's a missing scene in between Chapter 4 and Chapter 5. At the end of Chapter 4, Jayvon says that the magic part starts in an hour, and then in Chapter 5, it happened already and there's only a couple details as to what happened. Perhaps explain the ceremony a little more, or if she lied down at some point, etc. to better orient the readers.

- Jayvon's POV paragraphs are so short that it feels a bit jarring when it switches suddenly to his POV and then back to hers.

- The kiss at the end of Chapter 5 seems to be a little glossed over. Did hear heart race? Was she unsure of what this meant in their relationship? What is their relationship status?

- The characters are introduced quickly so it's hard to keep track of them all. Perhaps spend a little more time with their descriptions and personality quirks and traits. 

The story has an interesting plot in and some neat characters. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!