Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Slate ✔

By: seaofgreen

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title works for the story.

-Cover: The colors go well and it looks balanced

-Blurb: A little wordy, but it is otherwise a good blurb.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

-Excellent mechanics, hardly any errors spotted. It flows nicely and it seems natural.

Plot

-The first couple chapters were a little confusing, hard to figure out exactly who was who and the relationships between everyone. However, it was a good inciting event to start off with.

-It also took a little while to figure out that the point of view shifted in the second chapter.

-The pace is good: there is enough going on but it's not going to fast either.

-The setting and the situation has the potential to be cliche and tired, but this is done well.

Characters

-The characters are believable and expressive.

-The twin's relationship is very dynamic and a good balance between respect, concern, frustration, and other emotions that come with siblings.

-It is refreshing to have mental illness portrayed in a thoughtful, not-glamorized way, and also in a guy, it seems like a lot of times it's in a girl.

Overall, there are a lot of aspects being done well here. Best wishes on your writing journey ahead!