Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

The Easy Route

by toriwritess

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is good.

-Cover: The cover looks nice.

-Blurb: The blurb could use more detail, like details about the job, about how they know each other, and perhaps more elude to more specific secrets.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

We did not spot any grammar issues.

Plot & Characters

- Chapter one starts off without enough context to really be able to understand what is going on. Perhaps more background as to what her job position or role is, where she works, and who her colleagues are.

- The girls seem to skip over the 'stranger' period of a relationship and went straight to friends. It felt like they had friendly banter as if they'd known each other for a long time, but not a lot of lead up to that.

- It would be good to perhaps mention some ages, if not vaguely elude to what age bracket Freya and Marcia are in.

- Before the flashback in chapter five, it doesn't mention she fell asleep. Even if she didn't realize that she fell asleep, perhaps it could say something like "She didn't even realize she fell asleep" to give readers an idea of when this flashback happened.

- More time markers, like what time of day is it, might be good to set the scene better.

This seems like a story that has a lot of interesting developments and twists to unveil. Wishing you the best of luck in your writing journey!