Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Rhinestone Academy

By: Lovewinx101

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover is nice but the title's text can use a little more contrast against the background to improve visibility.

-Blurb: The blurb has a lot of questions at the end and can maybe explain what or who the Falcon is a bit more.

-Title: The title is good.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is fine for the most part.

Plot & Characters

- The pacing is a little fast, it can slow down a bit.

- There can be less exposition for a better reader experience as well as more descriptions for a clearer image of the world.

- Perhaps have the first chapter be about Sophia's current, 'normal' life to set the scene and illustrate just how much her life changes when she is introduced to a whole new world. It can help show how she got to be the person she is and also how she copes with change.

- At the end of Chapter one, she gets dragged into a cloud, but there was no lead up to the moment so it is hard to follow. Perhaps add more descriptions like how the clouds appeared.

- In Chapter two, Lauren refers to the two adults as Queen and King, but it is later revealed that they are only housekeepers, so it's strange that Lauren called them King and Queen.

Best of luck to you in your writing journey!