Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

GAME SET MATCH!

By Sakschi

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title seems fitting.

-Cover: The cover is nice but it is interesting that there are two sets of couples.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- There are some typos and some grammar mistakes, but nothing too distracting

- The story is easy to read and comprehensible in terms of sentence structures.

Plot

- In chapter two, it says that she signed up for a free dating app, but then later on, she gets a message saying that she was charged $500. But if she signed up for a free app, how did they get her credit card number or bank details?

- Some information that we learn later on might be better if it was stated earlier in the story to help readers get a better picture of who the characters are, such as how long ago did he leave her (how old are they?) what their careers are, etc.

- In chapter twelve, the fist paragraph eludes to the fall of their relationship, influenced by the producer. It would then seem like the chapter would then explain events that align with the first statement, but this chapter continues with just positive events in their relationship.

Characters

- When Ariel first sees him again after a while, it might be relevant for her to notice subtle differences in appearance of the guy, especially if the last time they saw each other was a long time ago when they were eighteen.

- Perhaps develop and show more consistent personality traits in Chris that really illustrate what kind of person he is.

Best of luck with your writing journey!