Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

In Plain Sight

By: PenNameCrystalVibe

First Impressions: (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-The title is alright, although it does make it seem like a story about someone who is blind. It is a little unconventional that the genre is included with the title.

-The cover is fine, the girl could be more visible as to be more clear, but the mood is accurate.

-The blurb is good, except the first paragraph after the epigraph is repetitive.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar and sentence structure)
The mechanics are pretty flawless, there are no obvious errors.

Plot:

-The plot is very interesting and keeps the interest going. There is some concern about pacing, as some of the chapters where it seems like she is just suffering seem to be quite numerous.

Characters:

-The three universes is a great idea, but it can get a little confusing because of the nature of it. It is understood that this is on purpose, but perhaps "merging" a few characters, or limiting the amount of people in each "universe" will help streamline it a little.

The ending was nice, but hopefully through some work on clarity, you won't need a Q&A section at the end. Good luck with your writing journey!

-Ellie