YOU ARE READING

Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Random

[CLOSED FOR CATCH UP] We will review your story! Read to find out how to request a review.

#critiques #feedback #reviews

The Glass Eyes

36 2 0

by Elephant_reviews

by Elephant_reviews

By LoveXPainxTruth

First Impressions: (Cover, Blurb, Title)

-Title: The title seems fitting and interesting.

-Cover: The cover has a striking image, however it seems to be missing the title and the author's name.

-Blurb: The blurb is alright except for the last line, it is a little confusing.

Mechanics (Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

There are some areas in which it is difficult to understand because of the structure or the lack of punctuation.

Plot:

The language is very poetic and artistic, so it is almost a poem. Perhaps in integrating the labels like "Her Pov" into the body text itself can help the piece be more fluid. It can maybe be worked into a sentence like, "In her mind, she saw... " and then the next paragraph could possibly start something like, "However, the reality was..."

Overall, this seems like a piece with a lot of potential. Some strategic line breaks may help transform the piece into some beautiful prose. Best of luck to you!