Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

THE FLESH OF THEIR DAUGHTER

By: grudgeme

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title) 

-Title: The title seems fitting for the story, both in subject and in mood, but we'd recommend not using all capital letters.

-Cover: The cover has a nice font and design, but the subtitle is difficult to read.

 -Blurb: The blurb is fine. 

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- There are some grammatical errors in the story, so maybe an editor could help a little.

 - The chapter titles might be more effective without punctuation. 

Plot/Characters

-Including a mental health disorder such as schizophrenia in a violent character like this requires care because we need to make sure that it is not perpetuating a stigma where people start to believe that all people with a mental disorder are violent or dangerous.

-At some points, there seems to be a lot if information all at once, so spreading out the blocks of info might help with the flow of the story.

-Some events and characters that were introduced were not given a lot of context or explanation. Perhaps adding more background to new characters can help reduce confusion.

-The creepy factor is well done.

This story does a great job with gore, but it might be advisable to be careful when writing about characters with a mental illness. Best of luck to you and your writing!