Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Bandaids and Punches

By lurkinshadow

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover is nice but gives off some fantasy vibes.

-Blurb: The blurb works.

-Title: The title is good.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

There are a few grammar mistakes here or there, but for the most part it is not a problem.

Plot & Characters

- The first conflict in Chapter one isn't set up or explained, there's just an argument. Perhaps it could use a bit more context to give readers a better understanding of what is happening and what it means to the main character.

- There are quite a few characters introduced at once, so it's a bit hard to keep up with who is who.

- At the end of the second chapter, Entangling Encounter, he asks if the job opening is still available, but it is unclear as to what made him change his mind.

- More set up is needed for us to really care about the characters' troubles and understand what is at stake.

There are some nice twists and turns in this story and a neat use of images. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!