Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Busted Bubblegum

By: hchladybug1218

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover is nice but the title could maybe take up more space.

-Blurb: The blurb could maybe be a little longer.

-Title: It is not exactly clear as to why it is titled Busted Bubblegum. The "Bubblegum" part makes sense but not as much "Busted"

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is fine for the most part but we noticed that the sentences are a bit choppy, so perhaps combining some will help to diversify the sentence structure and help the story flow a bit more.

Plot & Characters

The main character is describing a seemingly unique and interesting life, but is complaining for the first chapter. While it is understood that this character is meant to be self-deprecating and sees the negative in her life, it feels a bit frustrating to read about her woes about her "boring personality" when she has a lot going for her, like her involvement in activities and a trip to Italy, friends, family, and a boyfriend, which is a lot more than tons of people that age. Perhaps at least a bit of self-awareness on her part that she has some things going for her would help bring it up a little. 

Best of luck to you in your writing journey!