First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)
-Cover: The cover is nice.
-Blurb: The blurb is fine.
-Title: The title is good.
Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)
There are some grammar issues.
Plot & Characters
- It's a bit odd that they use the word 'indeed' when talking.
- Be wary of similar or repeating words. For example, in Chapter 2, she describes Dylan as 'sweet' in two consecutive paragraphs.
-There are some paragraphs where all the sentences have a very similar structure. For example, in the first two paragraphs of Chapter 4, each sentence starts with a transition. (ie. After a while, thus, unexpectedly, etc)
- In Chapter 11, the way she blackout from drinking seemed a little unrealistic. She seemed very coherent and physically sharp but all of a sudden the alcohol took effect.
Best of luck to you in your writing journey!
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