Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

A Storm on the Mountain

By: amaranthinepoetry

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is appropriate.

-Cover: The cover is simple, nice.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is mostly fine, but sometimes the poetic language makes it a little difficult to tell what is going on exactly. For example, the last paragraph of chapter four depicts a scene in which we were left a little confused as to what happened. This also applies to the fact that the shepherd is blind. This information was only clear when it mentioned Braille in Part two.

Plot & Characters:

- It is a nice story, with good emotion. Emotion was especially well done in chapter nine.

- It can be a little confusing at the beginnings of the chapter to figure out whether the chapter takes place in the past or the present.

- The relationship with the shepherd seemed to be just be friendship for a long time and then it felt sudden that they embraced each other physically in part two.

This story is emotional and runs deep. We wish you the best on your writing journey!