Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Just Dreaming

CrazyKatiexox

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover looks good.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

-Title: The title is fitting.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

There's little to no grammar issues.

Plot & Characters

- The story doesn't start right away, it takes quite a while to actually get to the dreaming part of it. One suggestion would be to start with her connecting through lucid dreaming, and then going to school and meeting the guy.

- It seems unlikely that she's never been outside at night (Page 4) or seen insects or spiders before (Page 5) even if she's very sheltered.

-The phrase "turn on his/her heels" is repeated often.

This story seems to do a good job with the unnerving and scary aspect. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!