Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Project 'D' Robots

By Jarvis1989

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is fine.

-Cover: The cover is good but the author's name is a little difficult to read. 

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- There are some minor errors.

- Some of the chapters have a scene change that might be benefit from the addition of a separator, like dashes in between the paragraphs to distinguish a new setting.

Plot & Characters

- In the prologue and Chapter 1, there are a lot of characters introduced and many new names. Maybe more background and context as to who these people are would help readers understand who is who.

- It is unclear what the relationship is between Sarah and Jason is.

- In chapter 6, they talk about ATS. Although it may have been mentioned earlier on, it may be a good idea to refresh the reader's memories and restate what this stands for.

- In the middle of chapter 7, after Sarah asks Jason what he is going to do, it says, "Logan stared at her and looked at the car." When the scene started, Logan was not present, so it seemed sudden that he suddenly appeared in this moment.

- The characters can use a little more development in terms of personality and quirks.

Best of luck with your writing journey!