Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Searching for Chi

By: CassandraHW

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is fine.

-Cover: The cover is good.

-Blurb: The blurb is okay, but perhaps expanding a little more on what the fantasy world entails will draw more readers in.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar seems relatively flawless. 

Plot & Characters

- There are a lot of characters introduced at once, so it gets confusing as to who is who. Give readers more time to get to know the different characters and their personalities.

- In Chapter 4, Eve sort of randomly appears without explanation but then walks away after some conversation, without bidding them goodbye. (There's no transition.)

- In Chapter 5, Siin says he has no memory of the old woman, but then he says, "I'm doing well, thank you for asking Ms. Acker," without being told her name.

- There is a mystery unfolding, but it is taking quite a while to get into the action. It might be a good idea to consider building more tension and reasons for readers to want to find out more. Reward readers with more information to keep them engaged.

This seems like a neat, adventurous plot. Best of luck to you in your writing jounrey!