Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

The Obscure Downsides of Fame

By: Obscunima

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is fine.

-Cover: The cover looks nice.

-Blurb: The blurb is good.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is good and the prose is written well.

Plot & Characters

- Maybe add more introductions to the side characters like Ava, so readers get a better feel for whom the MCs are interacting with.

- Believability wise, Oakley's success story is one-in-a-million, but it is acknowledged that the nature of the story is a bit fantastical.

- It takes a little while for the plot to get going, so perhaps start with the two main characters meeting.

- Chapter 7, someone leaked his Instagram account. It wasn't private? If it wasn't, then perhaps explain a little more.

- Chapter 12, Ava is on the phone with Nolan but converses with the mother but they are not on speakerphone so it seems odd.

This seems like a nice teen fic of relationships and fame. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!