Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Blood Hints

By Natasha_Scarlet1122

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is good.

-Cover: The cover is fine.

-Blurb: The blurb is all right.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- The grammar needs a little improvement.

- The dialogue tags are always after the dialogue. Place the dialogue tags in different locations in order to vary up the sentence structure.

- Typically, each time someone speaks, the dialogue is on a new line.

Plot & Characters

- In Chapter 2, there are too many POV changes.

- In Chapter 3, A 20-some-year-old committing murder gets 10 years in prison, but then the sentence is reduced to four years. However, British common law says the sentence for murder is usually life in prison.

- The action gets started in a timely manner which is good, but the pacing, in general, is a little quick.

- The setting is confusing at times, as it opens with Holmes in London, but they go visit Shield, which is located in the US.

- There can be more information about how this crossover world works. Is this just MCU but with Sherlock? If it is, why does Sherlock join Shield instead of other organizations?

Best of luck to you in your writing journey!