Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Case 24

By: ChemicalChrist

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is alright.

-Cover: The cover is great and conveys the theme of the story.

-Blurb: The blurb is well done-it is not the conventional structure, but it still conveys the plot of the story and what is at stake.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- There doesn't seem to be any obvious errors, and it also helps that it is often a transcript or email, so even if there are a couple errors, it is more excusable.

- It is noted that all the social media posts are posted at the exact same time- 8:09am. It is unclear whether or not this was intentional.

- The Facebook account name was "suzieseeseyesbleed," which is not the format in which Facebook names are usually in. Traditionally, it is first and last name.

- Consistency wise, one post is in all caps and the rest of the posts aren't.

- This story and format is very creative, and the redacted names and information is a cool feature. However, after a while, the random clippings and recordings are a bit difficult to follow after a while. Perhaps this can be written in a more conventional way, but there can be some chapters here and there that are the transcripts instead, or perhaps at the beginning or the end of the chapter.

We wish you the best of luck in your writing journey!