Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Again

By: NividhaRajan

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is good.

-Cover: The cover looks nice.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine but it needs editing for grammar mistakes.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

There are grammar issues. Enlisting the help of an editor or using a program like Grammarly can help eliminate a lot of the minor grammar issues like capitalization and punctuation.

Plot & Characters

- In the first chapter, it says they went around the school and started pranking everyone. If this is to show that their personalities are rambunctious or mischievous, perhaps a scene that elaborates a bit on their actions can help readers envision their personalities in a way that shows instead of tells.

- It is not explained what SNS stands for in the chapter titled "Her Regular Day."

- Halfway through the chapter titled, "Her conversation with her dreamboy," there is the name "Arjun" in all caps and bold so it looks like it is a POV subtitle, but the POV does not change after.

- In the chapter, "His change and her revelation," she was being choked but then recovered unnaturally quick and was able to chase someone right after.

This seems like it really picks up in the later chapters and the mystery is unfolding nicely. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!