Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

A Child's Drawing

By: kulanaghaaa

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title works with the story. 

-Cover: The cover does not have a title on it, and maybe there can be a person or girl on it so readers can get an idea on what it's about.

 -Blurb: The blurb is good but could use a little more detail. For example, the character Angelus is mentioned without an explanation as to who they are.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

There were some errors spotted, so perhaps an editor could help. 

Plot- 

The plot is a little hard to follow, especially when she encounters paranormal creatures. Even though it is understood that the confusing nature of her experiences is part of the story, there is not a lot of explanation or context in which her situation is to the point of not being very understandable.

Characters-

There are some characters that are introduced suddenly without any explanation to whom they are. For example, in the first chapter, the character by the name of Cook appears without any context.

This story sounds exciting, but perhaps some clarity would help elevate it. Good luck on your writing journey!