Viboras

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By: NathalyJabanian

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover is good but it's hard to read the smaller text.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

-Title: The title is nice.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- There are some grammar issues

- The sentences are a bit short and choppy and a lot of them start with the same word.

- Some chapters, like Chapter 5, could use more more and dialogue tags.

Plot & Characters

- We felt like the story could perhaps start off with less buildup before the mother's murder, to get to the action a bit faster.

- Andy seems to witness the murder and the loss of her mom very well and without too much consistent emotional feedback.

- The story is very fast paced so there's not a lot of time for the reader to really explore what's going on.

- The friend in Chapter 3, Meredith, seemed to be a very temporary character. Perhaps including her in other chapters prior and in the future would help integrate her further into the story.

- Some of the characters aren't introduced very well into the story. For example, in Chapter 5, it is never really explained who Cheryl is.

- Maybe when Andy is in Colombia, there could be more mentions of Colombian culture and names to give readers a better sense of the setting.

There seems to be a neat story in the works with a mystery to uncover. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!

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