Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Project Atechna

By Shadowstar5N64

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: At this moment in the story, it is not understood why it is titled as such. Also, it may be a little difficult for readers to remember or spell when searching for it.

-Cover: The cover is beautifully done.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

No grammar mistakes were spotted.

Plot & Characters

- The flashback in chapter 4, bedtime stories is in first person which is inconsistent with the rest of the story. This is also the case in the second part of the seventh chapter.

- It is odd that she's breaking into her own mother's throne room. Perhaps explain the reason why, like she just likes to cause trouble, or it's hard to meet with her mother because she might get turned away by the guards.

- In the chapter titled, "Please save her, mother." The mother said, "sigh, don't be sad child." It is more conventional to explain that the mother sighed instead of including the word "sigh" in the dialogue.

- The mermaid kisses her crush while she is unconscious which is non-consensual. Though it is acknowledged that there is a full disclosure about possible disturbing content, perhaps consider a character admonishing her for this at some point to avoid any hint of glorifying this behavior.

This seems like an interesting mystery unfolding. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!